maizikeem

I will not forget

2012-02-15T10:05:00.007+08:00

Maybe it's the coming age, or maybe by chance I have come to a realization of a new found wisdom (which is actually nothing new). I realized now that those who are receiving help are among those who are genuinely seeking with an open heart.

I have always been a spiritually cautious person but hardly pay serious attention to it. In pure distractions, I neglected my spiritual need and let it go astray. I constantly try to make the right decision and would always want to put up a good strong image that I am respectful and honest muslim. I wear my head scarf (most of time)…I kept Quran in my home, prayer mats hang nicely in my room, but I put too many excuses and delays what should be my priorities. Whilst my aqidah remained intact, but like any distracted human being, I forget.

The motion of life brings you the ups & downs…we often rejoice and celebrate happiness and most often enough reflect whenever in a moment of despair. And yet, forget to be grateful when we manage to pull ourselves out from the black hole. I am one of those guilty ones.

6 months ago, I come across an individual by the name of Joshua Evans in youtube, where this American young man converted into muslim, how he had studied the bible and make an academic comparison of faiths. Brother Joshua discovered Islam much later, but how he had turn out to be 10 years down the road, was an eye opener for me. From him I discovered several other individuals, from one website to another...from blogs to forums, a web show and talks, speeches and videos. I have realized how ignorant I have been. When there are people out there constantly seeking the truth, whilst I have seen the truth and self proclaimed that I do believe in those truths, yet I took my faith for granted.

By understanding what was missing, self discoveries was an easy thing. Obligation to pray 5 times a day was an easy task now. Reminding yourself of your sole purpose for existence is effortless. I am grateful.

I don’t believe in coincidence. Things happen for a reason. That 2 hours spend watching Johsua Evan in youtube was a turning point of self realization. I constantly seek for more, because I realized my curiosity to know more did not just stop after that 2 hours video. I read my Quran more now, and learn to know those words. My solat has become a natural need more than anything. I look forward to those prayers times. And now I seek for perfection to prove my faith.

Masyallah, with Your blessings, let me be strong and true. May You guide me to Your path…and don’t You allow me to forget anymore…amin.

Boikot untuk menulis....

2012-01-26T09:54:00.000+08:00

Hari ni, dah masuk tahun baru...hampir 6 bulan lebih kita tak menulis apa-apa. Sejak Julai, kita tersadai di rumah berjinak-jinak dengan title baru sebagai suri rumah sepenuh masa, freelancer separuh masa. Sejak itulah, mood nak mengupdate status diri di FB diketepikan...nak mengolah pendapat dalam blog pun kita abaikan. Idea banyak tapi kita taknak ingatkan perasaan hampa kerana tak dapat respon dari mana-mana tempat yang kita cuba apply.

Sebulan dua tak kerja masih rasa OK, duit simpanan ada lagi. Tengah enjoy "cuti" habis-habisan. Jauh di lubuk hati, rasa kecewa tu ada...mula rasa rendah diri dan ragu tentang keupayaan diri. Aku ni belajar sampai ke UK, ijazah ada...dulu gaji boleh tahan sekarang..takkan takde kerja? Bukan merendah-rendahkan mertabat housewife nie, memang ada keseronokkannya..dapat layan anak-anak, attend to homework dan sentiasa accessible bila-bila masa. Masuk bulan ke 4 dah mula rasa resah. Kenapa takde company respond to my application? Am I that irrelevant? By then, kita dah mula pikir...maybe I should take my freelance role full time? Or should I do my MBA? or should I continue pray hard enough that Haris would landed a deal that could give enough income that I need not worry about working again?

By Dec, lagi satu peluang datang...kawan lama yang baru join Hicom update yang bos dia mencari orang...kali ni alhamdulillah...rezeki sudah tersurat. Suatu penantian terjawab. Allah makbulkan satu permintaan untuk kita mendapat perkerjaan lagi. Mungkin the learning here..jangan berputus asa, jangan cepat mengalah...jangan berhenti berusaha dan jangan berhenti berdoa...Amin.

Pos Malaysia, here I come!!!

11km

2011-09-15T01:24:00.000+08:00

(A post that I forgot to publish in April 2011)

Alhamdulillah..I have survived the 11km run at the Sepang I Circuit. Organized by Energizer.
Last March I've signed up for this quarter marathon thinking somewhat optimistic about it. I was eager to train building up my stamina. Lucky enough a fellow colleague Jennifer was my running partner - occasionally in a week we would run at the nearest Cyberjaya lake. I wouldn't say I was completely fit but..at least I didn't collapse after running for 30mins! Which is a pretty good sign..for a 38 years old!

I am very proud of myself...that night was a memorable night for me.
1. It was my very first run
2. in Sepang circuit
3. and I ran for 1.40mins
4.Running a quarter marathon is one of my bucket's list.

I would be lying if I didn't admit that it was pretty drilling. But I did ran for 11km. I am pretty ambitious to do another one. :)

Tiga bulan dah...

2011-09-14T21:49:00.000+08:00

Sejak Julai kita dah tak bekerja. Nak panggil diri penganggur...tak rasa macam menganggur pun. Depress? Tak jugak...memula masa dengar berita company nak buat lagi satu round re-organisation...I expected the worst. Laid off lagi ker...tutup kedai...pindah?...Pemutusnya, dalam bulan April, management buat annoucement. TRICAP di Malaysia terpaksa di tutup. Tapi hanya ada wakil di Bangkok, di mana sekarang memang dah ada Telenor Asia di sana. Kami di beri pampasan mengikut tempoh tahun berkhidmat. Ada yang dapat lebih dari 100k..tapi takkan sama dengan adanya kerja yang menjaminkan gaji bulanan. Kita tak rasa takut...cuak atau pun bengang. Mungkin rasanya, dah sampai waktu. Dulu tiap-tiap projek kami terpaksa membuktikan diri dengan orang putih yang kita pun sepandai mereka walaupun takde PhD bergulung, kami tetap boleh buat kerja. Mostly pun local business units suka bekerja dengan kami. Tapi yelah..nak salahkan politik dalam company..sapelah kita nie, union tak kuat..tak macam kat sana!But, without a doubt, bekerja di Telenor memang berbaloi! Tak pernah rasa seselesa, teman sepejabat macam adik beradik! Kami rapat..hinggakan masing-masing masak dengan perangai buruk dan baik!..dan menerima seadanya! Takde tempat bekerja yang se-open dan transparent. Kami diberi kebebasan dan peluang untuk berkembang. Walaupun penghujungnya setakat ini, kita rasa bersyukur. Membuat keputusan tiga tahun dulu untuk bekerja di disitu. Tempat kerja pun cantik, percaya tak kami bekerja di resort? Penuh kehijauan dan ketenangan! Berpeluang merantau sambil bekerja, berjumpa & berkenalan dengan kawan-kawan dari luar negara...Dhaka, Islamabad, Bangkok, India....Norway...

Terasa rindu bekerja tu memang ada, tapi tak mungkin berpeluang bekerja seperti di Telenor. Susah nak dapat syarikat yang memberi sepenuh kepercayaan & kelonggaran waktu bekerja. Anyway...sekarang episod baru. Terpaksa meng-update CV...jenguk jobstreet..contact headhunter...tapi rasa liat betul! Seronok jugak duduk di rumah. Pagi-pagi dapat siapkan breakfast anak-anak. Masa bulan puasa..sempat menghantar Hazrik ke sekolah so that dia boleh tido lebih sikit selepas sahur. Tiap-tiap pagi..dapat mandikan Hakeem..dapat berborak lebih panjang dengan Maira, dapat beli groceries bila-bila masa..takyah tunggu hujung minggu. Dapat ber-garden, 2-3 buku novel habis di baca..dan dah dua kali bawa budak-budak tengok wayang! Sejak tak bekerja kita jadi peminat setia NCIS, Bones, Relapse..abis semua episod kita cover! :)

Nak masuk tiga bulan macam nie...rasanya dah cukup masa berehat kot?

Ok..gambar-gambar nie takde kena mengena dengan cerita..saje je nak upload gambar anak angkat baru..Cloe & Leo. Yang kuning tu Ginger...dia dah lama dengan we all!!

Drama Minggu Ini

2011-09-13T20:28:00.001+08:00

Tiga hari lepas, ibu telefon "ayah jatuh longkang masa tengah main golf kat Bangi!".."Is he OK?"..Ibu jawab "OK, calar kat siku and dada..dia OK cuma jalan senget la jugak!" Nasib baik takde major injuries setakat calar-calar tapi longkang tu dalam la jugak; tak sempat nak jatuh terpelesok ayah sempat menahan dengan lengan sambil kuat menahan dengan sebatang club dia. Masa tu..tak seronok mendengar, yelah..ibu telefon, takkan takat nak dengar..ye ye ok ok babai aje?..berat hati jugak tapi masa tu memang tak dapat nak drive back. School week, budak-budak masih bersekolah. Weekend tu pun memang takde plan nak balik..ada open house...plan nak buat garden sikit. Jadi kita tak offer kan diri untuk balik. Ibu pun tak minta kita balik. Rasanya OK kot.
Sabtu pagi kita terima missed called dari ibu mertua. Kita called balik, rupanya dia terdail nombor kita. Tapi sempat jugak dia bercerita update mana yang patut...haidan (anak buah)...kat hospital. Terkena batang golf masa tengah golf lesson. Habis kena jahitan di dahi..pengsan tapi tak serius. So tengahari dalam hujan lebat kononnya nak ke open house di Kajang terpaksa dibatalkan. Tersalah jalan...terlambat jadi terus kami batalkan. Petang di rumah Haris, mengadap program rugbynya...ibu telefon lagi. Bertanya khabar budak-budak sempat lagi dia cakap "balik laaa aida..rindu sangat kat budak-budak tu.." Kita menjawab "ada plan la ibu..tapi next week kita balik laa..." Ibu macam merajuk..kata OK terus letak handphone dia. Kita dah tak sedap hati, walau pun ibu tak memaksa..kita rasa dia sunyi. Petang tu jugak, kita minta kebenaran dari Haris nak balik seremban. Haris tak halang, tapi tak la jugak nampak seronok. Dia sibuk nak tengok rugby tapi minta tinggalkan Hazrik.."tak syiok tinggal sorang" katanya...Yelah tu..ntah ntah takut.

6pm...kita drive back dengan Hakeem & Maira. Bad teman sekali. Ibu nampak seronok. Ayah senget tapi ceria melayan Hakeem. Malam tu..kami keluar makan. Ayah bawa kami ke kedai dia ampangan, pekena lamb chop, chicken chop..fish & chips. Maira tidur denga Tok wan malam tu. Pagi Ahad ibu kejut breakfast...dia nak buat jemput-jemput. Hari tu hujan lebat. Dalam tengah sakit-sakit dada..ayah bercerita insiden jatuh longkangnya. So sekarang seminggu dia kena berehat..or else macam mana nak masuk tournament seminggu lagi. Ayah nampak OK syukur alhamdulillah, cuma sengal di sana sini.

Tapi tak banyak sikit..bila kami balik sekejap tu...riuh la seketika rumah seremban...mungkin keputusan kita nak balik menjenguk adalah keputusan yang patut di buat. Bila ibu ayah nampak ceria, hati kita pun rasa puas...Bila dah berkeluarga, terkadang kita terpaksa membahagikan masa. Dulu masa bujang, takat nak balik Seremban tu...takde hal lah! Plus Highway tu macam tak jauh..sanggup meredah jam...kalau dah janji nak balik, kenalah balik. Sekarang, tak macam dulu..lebih-lebih lagi anak-anak dah mula sekolah. Alangkah baiknya kalau duduk berdekatan. Takat nak jumpa anytime ajer!...Cuma bila tergerak hati nak pulang ke Seremban..tak semudah itu. Tapi...selepas weekend tu, kita rasa bersyukur..walaupun sekejap..bila tengok ibu ayah sihat & ceria...priceless!

Doa Seorang Ibu

2011-08-24T17:45:00.000+08:00

Takde seorang ibu yang tergamak melihat anaknya sakit, menderita, papa & susah. Kalau ada lah kita dengar ibu-ibu yang sanggup tinggalkan anak kerana lelaki..atau biarkan anak-anaknya merempat tanpa perlindungan...then kita sendiri akan kata ibu tu gila. Seorang ibu yang normal, takkan dan tak mungkin sanggup. Tapi kekadang nilai kasih sayang setiap ibu mungkin tak sama. Berdasarkan personaliti masing-masing, setiap ibu mempunyai cara masing-masing. Ada yang terlalu protective, ada yang terlalu liberal. Ada ibu yang beri sepenuh kebebasan pada anak-anak menilai (jika anak tu dah besar panjang) dan ada sering beri pendapat..dan mungkin ada juga yang pikir dia beri pendapat tapi sebenarnya dia nak anak dia tu terima aje pendapat dia.

Betul ke tak betul cara tu...bukan tempat kita nak menilai. Yang kita tahu...untuk anak-anak kita sendiri..I want them to be the best that they can be. Setiap pengalaman, diberinya pengajaran..."Mai tak boleh expect semua yang Mai minta akan dapat..."...kena amik masa nak explain benda-benda buruk dan baik, bukan asyik nak marah aje. Tapi kekadang tu kena juga berkeras kalau cara lembut tak berkesan "No computer and games for the whole week..how can you forget your homework? Main game tak lupa pulak?!!" Ada masanya jugak, rasuah berkesan tapi kena pilih waktu yang sesuai..consider it sebagai ganjaran la..bukannya nak minta dia ikut cakap kita.."OK..OK..boleh makan maggi..tapi lepas ni jangan minta..Janji tak memekak..Ibu ada kijer sikit nie."

Kalau kita faham, apa sebenarnya tanggungjawab seorang ibu nie, kita tak akan perlekehkan masa yang kita gunakan. Sebenarnya, nak bela anak nie tak susah. Yang susah bila diorang menyakitkan hati..mengecilkan hati. Yang susah bila kita cuba untuk jadi tidak kecik hati. Kalau boleh tak mahu anak menanggung dosa.. Sekarang mungkin taklah..cos masih kecik lagi...tapi masa kecik ni la kita kena sentiasa mengingatkan mereka. Kena sentiasa hormat orang tua terumata ibu bapa sendiri.

Kita sentiasa mengingatkan diri, setiap waktu yang kita luangkan bersama mereka ada lah investment untuk masa depan. Bayangkanlah..masa anak-anak tu kecik lagi kita jarang nak spend time, masakan mereka dewasa, mereka nak luangkan lebih masa untuk kita? Simple calculations kan..kalau dalam sehari ada 24 jam..tolak 8jam bekerja...8jam waktu tidur...tinggal 8 jam. Then katakanlah..malam tu anak ada kelas tuition or mengaji..abis 2 jam kesitu..1 jam dia buat homework..ada 4 jam..berapa keraplah masa kita luangkan untuk mereka. Those daily things matters..and those small things matters. Kita mungkin tak nampak tu sekarang tapi percayalah...kekadang 20 minit yang kita spend berborak dengan anak-anak tu yang waktu yang penuh makna..cos anak dapat beritahu kita apa yang diorang buat the whole day. Luangkan waktu dinner bersama...Nie waktu yang paling penting. Dah lah lunch memang jarang... Weekend is a different matter. Nak tunggu cuti sekolah, holiday untuk dapat quality time? Tak perlu..quality time is when you spend time reading for them, peek at their homework, make a mess in the kitchen to bake cookies...yang penting anak-anak tahu kita amik berat.

Doa seorang ibu..."Ya Allah, kau lindunglah anak-anak ku dari sebarang malapetaka, sebarang kesusahan dan kepayahan hidup..kau berilah mereka keyakinan diri untuk menjadi hambaMu yang taat. Dan agar mereka sentiasa menjadi anak yang soleh dan sayang menyayangi"

Salam Ramadhan

2011-08-22T12:04:00.002+08:00

Tahun nie, raya di sambut dengan penuh dugaan...nak cerita terasa malas, tapi apa gunaya ada blog kalau nak berahsia ye tak. Cerita ni pun bukannya rahsia apa pun cuma lately..sejak Julai memang liat teramat sangat nak menaip. Perubahan terbesar mula Julai bila kita dah tak bekerja sepenuh masa lagi. Bukan kerana rela hati tapi keputusan Company finally nak relocated tempat lain. Jadi penyudahnya semua staff diberi VSS so that we all semua tak complain. Memanglah, nasib baik diberi pampasan kalau tak susah jugak nak bernafas. Kebetulan la pulak Haris sejak April lagi dah buat keputusan untuk berhenti dari bekerja di Hyundai. Jadi, macam orang kaya lah pulak dua-dua tak bekerja fulltime. Tapi mungkin rezeki anak, ada lah jugak duit yang masuk. Kita pun tak sangka...diberi project untuk buat freelancing. Memula dua report lepas siap..ada lagi offer report untuk di buat. Report apa?..alah takat buat analisis data-data pastu translate ke powerpoint...buat le komen sana sini...Menangkuk jugaklah memalam menghabiskan report tu; sampai sakit tongkeng (terasa macam student la pulak..tido pukul 3-4 pagi) Tapi bila dapat cek yang pertama...hehheh senyum lebar kita. Seronok gak seminggu kijer dapat duit macam sebulan kijer di company lama. OK jugak kan? For now, alhamdulillah....dapat la tokok-tokok duit belanja. Cover la duit sekolah anak. En. Haris pun rajin menguruskan bisness dia tu, insyallah...rezeki di mana-mana. Kena ada usaha.

Masuk minggu ke 2 bulan Ramadhan nie, Maira kena chicken pox. So biasalah, bela budak sakit...serba tak kena. Nak tunggu kan spots dia tu tak gatal-gatal...memang mencabar kesabaran kita! :) Dah tu masuk minggu ke 3, Si Hazrik & Hakeem kena pulak...(Nak buat macam mana!!). Expected recovery sebelum raya...amin...

Tahun ni tak banyak buat plan berbuka diluar..bukan sengaja-sengaja tapi maybe bila dah tak berkerja kat pejabat kurang lah jugak interactions dengan dunia luar. Takde orang ajak keluar makan..takde pulak office organize apa-apa. Bagus jugak..dengan anak-anak demam chicken pox macam mana nak enjoy makan luar. KECUALI satu hari ni jer..Sofina dan kita teringin nak mencuba tempat baru Lyza. ooh! lupa nak mentioned, kawan Wolves kita buka restoran dekat area Pantai Hillpark. Atan (the husband) is a chef so you can bet makanannya sedap gitu. The type of food, is very humble (at least the Ramadhan spreadnye) yet sedap! Tapi bila ternampak orang lain mengorder ala-carte..macam best la jugak cuma perut dah padat so takat pandang-pandang jer. Nampak gaya kena datang 2nd round..this time "Atan! Satu chicken chop please..and together with that Ambra juice yeeeee!!".

My next entry will tell you more about Ambra...tak sempat nak amik gambar banyak-banyak cos sibuk makan..buka puasa la namanya..pastu ada Sofina & Lyza - "Deadly conversation yang penuh gelak ketawa..gerenti terkencing sikit!!:

Run Aida Run

2011-04-26T10:02:00.000+08:00

Pada tanggal 16hb April, suatu sejarah tercatat…kita berjaya meredah suku marathon; 11km – 1jam 40minit. Selama 3 bulan training yang tak seberapa, akhirnya berjaya jugak kita meredah Sepang Circuit tu. Boleh di katakan sejarah nie..2 dalam 1. Kerana pertama: Buat terulung kali, kita berjaya meredah 11km; kedua: First time datang ke Sepang Circuit, dan yang paling best dapat berlari atas circuit tu..imagine..dapat melihat bekas tayar di setiap corner lane…sungguh teruja & menakjubkan!!

Walaupun En. Haris takdelah berikan semangat dan keyakinan pada kita, takpelah janji dia tak halang. Biasalah, En. Haris tu..bila kita memula bercerita tentang plan nak join Energizer Nite Race at Sepang Circuit tu..dia cakap ”U boleh ke?”..haaaa…tu lagi membuat semangat membara. Terus then there kita sign up online! Amik kao!

Hasil dari larian tu..kita mengalami kekejangan otot dan berjalan terdencut-dencut (pasal sakit lutut) selama sehari aje…hehehhe…tapi kepuasan diri yang teramat sangat tak dapat nak digambarkan. J

Meredah marathon adalah salah satu aktiviti yang telah kita catakan dalam ”Bucket’s List” kita. So sekarang semangat membara untuk meredah lagi satu marathon..dalam bulan June ni..dan kali ni kita nak seret Dura & Boy sekali!! Wohhooooo!! Start training guys!

Berpindah, berhijrah ke beralih arah?

2011-04-07T10:49:00.001+08:00

Sekali lagi, company ni buat re-org. Kawan-kawan sepejabat semua dah buat macam-macam speculation. Down sizing lagi ke? Berpindah pejabat ke luar negara ke?...kena berenti? At the end, Jumaat lepas bos buat announcement "its a business decision that Telenor Group has decided to close down Asian office that is based in Malaysia. It will move to Bangkok but only headed by a VP representative there." Tak hairanlah, trip ke Delhi tergendala..some projek were put on hold. Rupanya re-organisation kali ni agak major! Keputusan pihak atasan bukan kerana tak cukup duit ke...atau nak jimat duit ke..cuma sekarang projek-projek dia Asia are so high level - so working people are not required...ye ke? Well if you ask me..sume nie politik aje. Kita memang dah sedia maklum, perantauan Asia ni memang hebat! Sume nak kemari. Projek-projek dia Asia berpotensi kerana kawasan ni sedang membangun. Tak seperti dia Barat...oleh kerana itu..sume orang di negara Nordic berebut-rebut nak amik peluang! Jadi kalau ada wujudnya team Asia (aka Kami)..maka susahlah mereka nak mendapat peluang itu.

OKlah...decision had been made. Bukan boleh argue pun. Sebagai alternatif..depa offer kami apply kijer kat DiGi..or mana-mana Business Unit dalam Telenor Group. BUT...process applying, interview etc..kenalah buat. Aduhai!! If not...MSS! (Mutual Separataion Scheme)..canteekk gak! heheh dapat duit then worry about getting another job. Nak try DiGi tak? ntahlah member sana cakap internal situation tengah kelam kabut. Ramai orang lama dah blah..plus CEO sekarang sangatlah agresif..ura-ura ada down sizing activities jugak! Laa...pegi sana tapi ada laid off! macam mana tu?

Inilah dunia korporat! Sektor swasta..gaji tinggi konon...persekitaran yang mencabar! Competitive dan memberansangkan minda..pergh! hehehhe...tapi bila kena macam ni..there's nunthin' much you can do. Vicious cycle all over again...update CV, call headhunter, update your jobstreet/LinkedIn bla bla bla...

Short term analysis: amik duit, go for holidays, update and submit CV...and wish for the best!!! Oh well, at least I still have my health...the kids..and yeah haris (for now! hehehe..)

time..

2011-03-28T15:51:00.000+08:00

"Time is too slow for those who wait,
too swift for those who fear,
too long for those who grieve,
too short for those who rejoice,
but for those who love, time is eternity."
-Henry Van Dyke

I turn 38 today. Life is wonderful.

Bila takde modal menjadi modal…

2011-03-14T18:10:00.000+08:00

Sepuluh tahun mengadap muka yang sama, berkongsi bilik dan katil bersama…maybe dalam satu peringatkat terasa takde benda yang dapat nak dicakapkan lagi..dulu masa mula-mula kenal…10km berjalan terasa begitu singkat,10minit bagaikan sesaat..perbualan yang melalut hingga 5pagi tak terasa walau pun kelopak mata dah rasa berat. Itulah lumrah manusia; yang baru terasa indah yang lama terasa…jemu? Jemu ke?...Bukan jemu mungkin takde modal lagi kot.

Pasal tu la ramai orang berkata, jangan biarkan kesepian diri menjadi jarak pemisah. Dan jangan jadikan rutin harian sebagai alasan untuk tidak mencuba mengidupkan semula jiwa yang kosong…dan kalau boleh jangan la diisikan jiwa yang kosong dengan mengundang masalah yang lain… Tapi, betulkan? Kita selalu beri alasan terlalu penat, bosan, letih , payah dan malas…dan kekadang kita lupa nak bertanya khabar pada pasangan…"OK you hari nie?" Atau sekadar memuji ikhlas "cantik you pakai baju tu…segak bila you sikat rambut you macam tu." Or how about "Thanks yang…sedap nasi goreng belacan you."

Yang susahnya tu, kalau satu pihak aje yang pikir “asyik kita jer nak mengalah! Asyik kita jer nak dengar cakap?..what about my feelings? Nape kita aje yang nak kena beri laluan? Tak adil la macam nie!” Susah sebenarnya hidup berumah tangga nie, dia punya prinsip sebegitu..pendapat tak sama dengan kita..so nak dapat kan kemuafakatan dalam setiap perkara perlukan toleransi, diplomasi dan kebanyakkan tahap kesabaran yang tinggi (cos salah seorang mestinya tak paham bahasa…taknak beralah..taknak dengar pendapat..tak pedulik pendapat…dan lain-lain lagi) Tapi kalau satu pihak aje yang nak pikir yang sorang lagi tu taknak pikir? So how? Penat la…

Terkadang ada yang bertekak kalau dua-dua ada pendapat berbeza, kebanyakkannya sorang akan beri lebih pendapat (ni bila you dapat sorang partner yang lebih dominan)…yang sorang lagi tu terpaksa mendengar dan beralah..happy tak happy lain citer…dan ada kalanya dua-dua buat haluan masing-masing dan buat cara masing-masing. Or sorang aje yang nak ajak berbincang..dan yang lagi satu prefer walking away (nak cool off ke nak buzz off??) yang penting taknak confrontation; sorry honey I don’t like confrontation! Who does anyhow??? Penyelesaiannya? There’s none! Kan dah cakap, hidup rumahtangga nie complicated..terlalu rumit…tapi orang kawin jugak! Pelik kan?

Anak-anak sebagai penyambung kasih..kata orang tua-tua. Tapi anak-anak jugak boleh jadi penghalang kasih tersambung. Salah anak-anak ke? Tak jugak..sebenarnya salah kita jugak cos’ mungkin terlalu taksub dengan jadual harian - hantar anak pi tuisyen, buat homework dengan diorang, music class, taekwando, groceries nak kena pi beli...duit maid nak kena transfer, cat food tak cukup, tayar keta dah botak, basikal anak kena repair…pastu by the time masa bersama..tenaga tinggal separuh..tengok muka pun takde selera. Yeke? Kesian gitu…tapi salah ke partner kita kalau terlalu mementingkan anak-anak? What about our needs as a wife, as a husband? Tu satu hal…kalau isteri tak pandai (or tak sempat)melawa..baju bau macam kari…terus taknak pandang. Salah siape? Salah si isteri cos taknak melawa amik hati si suami..or salah suami taknak memahami? Or dah terlalu bosan nak ajak berbincang..takde modal nak cakap apa-apa..penat nak ajak berbincang..balik-balik ke situ jugak argument nye…then toksah cakap lagi. Sorang kawan ada cakap…isteri kena pandai amik hati suami..kena tahu apa dia suka & apa dia tak suka…jangan buat kecoh bila dia balik kijer. Dah tu…biarkan aje? Biar kita handle sume? Adil ke gitu? Kita sorang aje nak pening…especially kalau sama-sama pun bekerja. Jadi kalau sama-sama penat balik kijer..bukankah sama-sama kena pikul tanggungjawab dengan hal ehwal rumah? Pastu isteri sorang aje nak usaha tarik perhatian laki? Nak kena pakai seksi & wangi? Laki pulak camna? Tak payah amik hati si isteri ke? HELLO??

Then ada sorang lagi kawan ni…penat nak ajak si isteri berbincang untuk dapatkan masa sendiriannya. Most of the time kalau dia sebut aje nak pi TT ke..nak keluar jumpa member ke…isteri akan buat bising muka panjang sedepa. So tak sanggup dengan leteran, dia beralah. Baik toksah cakap. Kalau nak buat kena curi-curi masa. Salah dia ke kalau dia bohong sunat? Sekurang-kurangnya dia tak kena leteran isteri. Kalau dak..tiap kali dia nak jumpa member..isteri sibuk nak dia layan anak-anak. Mulalah kata dia pentingkan benda lain dari keluarha. Tak semestinya. Kesian gitu. Kenapa nak masa sendirian pun tak boleh? Si isteri berleter kerana penat, dia keletihan dengan kerja pejabat & balik dan uruskan anak-anak. Jadi dia expect si suami sama-sama penat macam dia. Kena buat kijer rumah mana yang patut. Ye ke? Kena jugak ke? Jadi kalau tak kena gaya…Kalau buat kijer tu terlambat sikit cos nak tarik napas sikit alamat kena sound. Kesian jugak! Susah susah…Kat rumah sendiri pun rasa macam khadam ye…

Ok taknak pikir lagi..takde modal nak pikir. Muka dah berjerawat pasal stress..Stress kenapa? Ntahlah. Kot bila takde modal dah jadi modal topik perbualan kami…”Yang, you’ve got to tell me something laaa….or else I don’t know what’s inside your head! Tell me laaaa!!I am not a mind reader.”

Leaving on a jet plane...

2011-03-12T22:12:00.000+08:00

20hb Mac ni kena fly ke New Delhi. Projek selama 6 minggu tapi bos expect kita stay sana 2 minggu straight. Tapi nego punya nego berjaya dapat balik hari Khamis tu. Jadi dari stay terus 2 minggu tu hanya menginap 4 malam then balik...tido rumah 2 malam..fly ke Delhi 4 malam..then balik. OKlah..En. Haris nampak tenang aje..mungkin dia OK dan prefer dengan perancangan macam nie.

Diam tak diam lagi seminggu...hati rasa berat. Kijer makin bertambah..kepala makin berserabut. Dalam kekalutan nie, kita rasa macam antara sedih & excited. Sedih, biasalah..bila tengok muka budak-budak nie especially si Keem..baru depan mata pun dah boleh rasa rindu. Especially kalau dia tido nak peluk tengkuk kita. Sayu hati dibuatnya. Mai awal-awal lagi kita dah warning "Mai jangan buat perangai ye sayang..kalau mai sedih-sedih ibu takde..ayah jadi bengang...nanti ayah marah ibu tau.." Dia angguk.."OK bu, mai tak sedih tapi mai sure rindu ibu"..aduh! perit hati mendengarnya. Ajik, kita tak risau. Anak bujang kita tu...independent sokmo. Tapi sebesar gajah pun, nak tido malam still nak ibu tuck in kan. Walaupun sekadar 10minit pertama. Kita taknak complain, dok pikir cakap ayah "Selagi diorang nak kat you..amik peluang tu..bila dah besar nanti, you yang sibuk mencari masa diorang." Betul tu ayah..so masa time nie tak kiralah..10minit sebelum dia lelap tu la you usap-usap rambut dia & garu-garu belakang dia. A kiss goodnite & alfatihah sebelum tido menjadi rutin kami. Except, minggu kita takde ni dah pesan "Ajik, minggu depan ibu takde..abang jgn lupa baca doa and gosok gigi sebelum tido ok?". Hopefully dia tak lupa pesan kita.

Itu untuk anak-anak...dengan Haris..ntahlah..dia macam biasa jer. Maybe its good kali nie dia tak buat kita rasa bersalah. Maybe dia tahu kita balik dalam 4 hari. Tak kira la penat ke tak penat ulang aling..yang penting jangan lama-lama sangat..itu pesan dia.

UntukMu Hakeem

2011-03-04T14:10:00.000+08:00

4hb Mac 2011

Selamat Ulang Tahun Hakeem.

Hari ini anak ibu dah pun 3 tahun! Hidup ni takkan sama sejak Hakeem ada. Dialah penyejuk hati..pengarang jantung dan hadiah terulung. Betapa sesuatu yang bukan menjadi perancangan menjadi satu anugerah yang tak terhingga!! Ibu doakan segala kebaikkan untuk Hakeem. Semoga Hakeem menjadi anak yang soleh & hamba Allah yang taat setia. Membesar menjadi seorang insan yang berbudi pekerti, berjiwa mulia dan seperti nama mu sayang adil dan bijaksana!

Hakeem buntat ibu..!

Top list apa yang Hakeem minat:

· Truck

· Robot

· Truck

· Buku

· Kucing

· Basikal

· Cartoon Network

· Ribena

· McDonald

· Ayam goreng

· Maggi Mee (ok my fault!!) J

Mai oh Mai

2011-03-03T15:35:00.001+08:00

My baby girl Maira lost her 2 front teeth. At the age of 7 now, she’s finally losing her baby front teeth. Ugly as it may seems, she actually looked quite cute & adorable. A chatter box she is, non stop talking about her days, I can’t seem to keep my eyes off her cute lips and every time she open up her mouth to speak I cannot resist to smile…it doesn’t impressed her though, but I told her how beautiful she looks and I love the way she talks..Trying to keep her “S” and “N” correctly pronounced!

Mai oh Mai! Ibu sayang you very much!

Al fatihah

2011-03-01T15:49:00.000+08:00

Alfatihah buat seorang kawan Haris satu pejabat. Semalam waktu zuhur, kemalangan kecil di jalan raya yang tak seberapa telah meragut nyawanya. Tak tahu versi mana yang betul, tapi yang pasti, arwah menaikki motornya menghala ke pejabat suami untuk menjemput suaminya. Dengar cerita dia nak pergi membeli-belah baju raya anak-anaknya in advance. Alangkah sedihnya, hajat tak kesampaian. Su, seorang ibu kepada 4 orang anak. Anak bongsunya sebaya Hakeem; 3 tahun. Dan yang sulung mungkin sebaya Hazrik. Menurut Azlan (kawan sepejabat arwah) brek motor yang dinaikki tak makan. Siapa sangka hari yang dia plan nak ambil cuti untuk membuat preparation awal untuk hari raya tahun nie jadi hari yang amat menyedihkan buat keluarganya. Semalam ketika dia rumah mayat, suami arwah nampak tenang, mungkin masih kaku & tergamam. Anak-anaknya masih tak tahu keadaan sebenarnya, dan si ayah belum bersedia nak memberitahu mereka. Kami di sana sampai maghrib. Apa yang buat kita terharu, nampak sungguh arwah Su nie seorang yang amat di sayangi, ramai kawan-kawan sepejabat datang. Walaupun kehadiran mereka takkan dapat memberi apa-apa tapi…yelah hanya Allah mengetahui betapa setiap keikhlasan persahabatan dari arwah Su terserlah bila para teman-temannya datang mengiring jenazah sambil beristifar dan berdoa ke atas rohnya.

Semoga, keluarga Su tabah mengharungi kehilangan dan kepermegiannya. Dari Allah kita tercipta, kepada Allah kita kembali. Tiada yang kekal kecuali Dia. Semoga roh Su dicucuri rahmat dan tergolong dengan mereka yang dimuliakan. Amin…

Hazrik dan basikal

2011-02-14T21:22:00.000+08:00

14 Feb 2011; Hari ini dalam sejarah:
Hazik dah pandai naik basikal 2 tayar...mungkin agak lambat sikit cos tahun ni dia dah sepuluh tahun..tapi salah ibu ayahnya jugak pasal tak amik masa nak ajar dia. So start seminggu lepas tiap-tiap petang dia start berlatih dengan sepupunya Nurul (Yun)..tapi dah 3 hari masih macam tu jugak. Masih teragak-agak, takut jatuh jadi dia masih tak dpat nak kayuh basikalnya macam biasa. 2 hari lepas kita pikir "tak boleh jadi...today dia kena cuba betul-betul!" alhamdulillah berkat paksaan kita dia berjaya jugak nak mencuba naik basikal tu.
Hari ni, pagi-pagi lagi dia tanya kita "hari nie ibu balik awal ke?".kita jawab "kenapa jik? Ajik nak ibu balik awal ke?"..dia jawab "kalau ibu balik tak lewat boleh kita ke park practice basikal lagi...boleh ke?"..seronok kita mendengarnya. Jadi berkobar-kobar kita balik dari kerja, tengok-tengok Hazrik dah pergi ke park, kali ni dia naik on his own! Tahniah Hazrik, I am so proud of you!

Bila maid nak jadi spiderman!

2011-02-08T13:27:00.000+08:00

This is not meant to be a joke..lebih-lebih lagi melibatkan kematian. Tapi, kita tak boleh nak elak nak beri komen tentang satu petikan akhbar tentang seorang maid Indonesia yang mati akibat terjatuh dari tingkat 8. Ada ke patut guna tuala & selimut untuk dijadikan tali...dan cuba turun dari tingkap bilik di apartment majikannya?? Ni la padahnya banyak tengok citer kartun...otak berpikir pun macam budak kecik! Kain kapas mana tahan berat...lebih-lebih lagi di ikat hujungnya.
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2011/2/6/nation/20110206184122&sec=nation

Walaupun di Malaysia banyak komen-komen negatif terhadap majikan yang tidak berperikemanusiaan..layan maid macam 2nd citizen...sebenarnya sama banyak maid-maid yang datang sini dengan niat yang tak baik. Datang sekadar nak lalun masuk ke Malaysia. Pedulik apa dia kalau majikan tu dah keluar berbelas-belas ribu...nak dapat kan permit, visa dan tambang...yang penting dia nak laluan aje. Baru-baru ni, jiran ibu di Seremban; Mak Aji seorang balu bayar 8k untuk seorang maid. Tak sampai seminggu maid tu berambus lari. Tak cukup itu, siap tinggalkan surat terima kasih dia - katanya beri dia laluan nak masuk Malaysia! Tak ke bangang punya kepala otak! Selfish ke tak selfish diorang nie? Mempergunakan orang!

So kalau nak citer pasal majikan yang teruk tu, memang la ada...google aje "Malaysian maid abuse..."melambak citer-citer sedih diorang kena dera. In fact kita sendiri memang pernah nampak jiran rumah yang memaki hamun maid dia dengan perkataan "bodoh" berkali-kali. Pendapat kita? Memang tak setuju manusia di layan begitu, walau pun salah macam mana...tegur kenalah tegur..tapi tak usah lah di tengking-tengking depan rumah sampai satu jiran tetangga boleh dengar...apatah lagi yang sempat nak panaskan seterika untuk ditenyeh kat badan maid tu...Jangan la sampai macam tu sekali. Selalunya orang-orang yang takde perasaan nak menyakitkan orang lain nie..pada kita memang tak normal! Orang yang normal tak akan sanggup buat manusia sebegitu sekali.

Hakikatnya...bagi setiap majikan yang gila tu..ada jugak bahagian maid yang sewel! Macam maid yang nak jadi spiderman tu la..tak diberinya keluar oleh majikan..dia ikut tingkap..rupanya nak jumpa boyfriend. Not surprise kalau maid yang dapat majikan baik pun..bila diberi peluang bersosial...akan jadi lebih teruk! End up lari..or mengandung..or macam-macam lagi. Very la the few maid yang datang sini berkelakuan senonoh...teguh dengan nawaitu dia ke mari...ada memang ada..tapi tak ramai.

And kalau kita ada dengar-dengar citer pasal maid yang dah bekerja lama dengan keluarga tu..di layan macam keluarga gak..tapi bila balik..barang-barang kita rupanya di curi..Memula kita dengar nie..macam mitos aje..cos' banyak versinya. Tapi hakikatnya, mitos selalunya bermula dengan cerita ceriti...rupa-rupanya ada sorang kawan terdekat terkena jugak. lagilah..keluarga majikan dah beri sepenuh kepercayaan pada dia. So mana silapnya? Apa formula nak dapat maid yang baik?...There's none I am afraid. It's all about luck and nothing else!

Maid oh maid!

2011-02-01T11:04:00.000+08:00

Penatlah...maid yang ntah ke berapa kali nie cabut lari la pulak! Tak sampai setengah tahun..tak cukup tempoh dia dah berambus ikut suka hati dia...Sumpah tak habis dengan diorang nie tapi tetap menyakitkan hati. Duit dah habis ribu raban...cakap cakap pasal masa yang diambil turun naik PKNS nak register kat Fomema, ke imigresen, ke pejabat pos..datang pergi amik cuti...!

Diorang nie kan memang layak kena sumpah seranah pasal berpikiran sempit dan tak pedulik tentang tanggunjawab dan komitmen. Masa datang buat muka sedih macam selipar jepun..Jangan ditanya pasal kehidupan kat Indon macam mana; laki mati lah..laki tinggalkan tak beri nafkah..anak 10 la...hidup susah..nak anak ke sekolah, bapak sakit, mak dah tua..macam-macam. Memula dulu masa maid pertama, kita memang lemau, mudah simpati..Tak sampai hati nak potong gaji, kesian dengar citer sedih...kalau boleh nak tolong mana yang patut! Tapi diorang, tak kisah kalau kita dah belanja banyak ke, penat nak usahakan untuk dapat kan pembantu..diorang kalau nak lari...pedulik apa, tak kiralah kalau kita baru aje renew levi tahun ke dua, lepas renew aje, masuk seminggu sedar-sedar lesap!

Yus, maid kita yang baru-baru lari nie memang dah mula tunjuk pasal. Memula asyik le bergadoh dengan anak dara kita..Ada aje yang tak kena si Maira mengadu.."Kak Yus taknak tolong buat air la...Kak Yus buat tak tahu bila dipanggil, Kak Yus sibuk bercakap2 dengan maid2 belakang rumah sampai Hakeem ditinggalkan.."..menyirap aje darah kalau tiap pagi Maira dok menelefon kita kat pejabat! Tapi kita pendamkan aje..instead balik kije kita nasihatkan dia...tolonglah jangan leka dengan budak2 nie...bukan susah sangat kijer kat rumah tu..Tak usahlah sibuk nak bertonyeh2 dengan maid2 belakang rumah. Tapi kan, masalahnya...kita boleh bercakap, the moment kita pergi kijer...tawakal ajelah..Itu pun nasib baik jiran sebelah tu dah kira sedara..so apa-apa emergency tak le kita rasa bimbang. Tapi tulah...bila tengok gaya si Yus ni yang kuran peka pada budak-budak, kita dah mula buat laluan untuk Bad maid lama kita yang kena balik kampung tu untuk balik semula kemari. Alhamdulillah, proses kemasukkan Bad dapat kelulusan..tunggu masa aje. Jadi nak taknak kena lah berbincang dengan Yus yang kita nak dia bekerja di Seremban saje..Lagi senang buat kijer rumah dengan ibu dari sibuk melayan anak-anak..tak gitu?? Rupa-rupanya, disebalik rupanya yang toyee tu..dia dah simpan niat nak lari. Tak tahu lah samada niat tu memang dah ada dari mula atau pun tak berkenan dengan keputusan kita nak hantar dia ke Seremban. Yang susah nya diorang nie, takkan mungkin nak berterus terang, kalau diorang cakap taknak kijer dengan kita, dah tentu dihantar pulang ke Indon. Masalahnya kebanyakkannya dari mereka nie, memang taknak balik Indon..cos kalau balik takde duit. Pedulik apa dengan contract!! Yang sakitnya..majikan! Selalu salahkan majikan layan pembantu macam sampah..tak beri muka..tapi kalau kita buat baik macam mana pun, kalau diorang ni dah niat nak lari...takkan dia kesian kan kita pun!

Baru seminggu dihantar ke Seremban, Yus dah lari...sah dengan bantuan kawan2 indon dia tu la...Geram! cos hari tu baru berikan dia RM100 in advance gaji Januari dia.. Bila diminta pasal takde duit poket, kita yang tak serik2 nie kesian la pulak...yelah...kita taknak dia pikir yang kita ni ikut sukati nak hantar dia sana sini. Ikutkan perangai dia, memang tak sesuai jaga anak-anak..Jadi jalan terbaik..hantar aje berkerja dengan ibu ayah.

Geram tak sudah pasal..masuk Yus nie..dah 6 maid kita lari...kebanyakkannya pasal boyfriend..selebihnya terpengaruh dengan kawan-kawan luar yang ajak berkerja tempat lain!! Apalah nasib! Kalau aku nampak Yus tu kat mana-mana memang aku rembat muka dia dengan penyapu kontot!!

I am stretched rubber band

2010-12-01T16:49:00.000+08:00

I am a stretched rubber band...

I have a theory, not trying to be too philosophical about this but think about it...a rubber band, once been stretched will never go back to its original form.

I have way too much time in my head. The kids are away for a week to Seremban and Haris is much too occupied with the biggest event of the year for Hyundai thus he's mostly not around. By the time I reached home it's always late and I am greeted by an empty & dark house. It's kinda lonely though. I miss those munchkins no doubt about it. But I don't mind the quietness. I don't rush back, instead trying to catch up with the "single" life stuff that I usually won't easily get - hit the gym and spend hours there, visit the saloon and get my hair cut, long hot shower, eat maggi mee, reading the magazines, holding on the remote, watching those darn DVDs that I bought but never had the chance to view...Was thinking to catch up with the girls too...but too lazy to arrange one.

At the back of my mind, I truly miss the noise, the chaos, the rush, the dirty diapers, the split milk...I just missed surounded by the usual stuff, the normal stuff. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying this "single" moment but that's the thing, I am a stretched rubber band. Even for a while, I am always be reminded of what I am now. I am a mom and my life are never the same without my kids! What a wonderful feelings to be wanted & needed eventhough through a constant nag, whine, heartache..and headache. You actually do not want to be left alone. You can't go back to what you were...cos you are too strectched up.

I used to be disturbed by the stretch marks I have on my belly...it's ugly. But I don't want to get rid of it (eventhough at the beginning I've tried all sorts of lotion or cream to prevent any sorts of pregnancy marks) But since I've been strectched all different kinds of way now...I am accepting my physical changes now. My stretch marks are my constant reminder of my privillage. It is the wonderful mark from the labour of love bringing up my 3 wonderful children.

Ne-Yo - Part Of The List

2010-11-01T21:58:00.000+08:00

Kecewa

2010-10-27T23:01:00.000+08:00

Bila dah menaruh harapan, walaupun tak berapa tinggi...kita tetap terasa kecewa bila apa yang diharap tak menjadi. Hari ni I was a bit down..terasa sedikit kecewa. I terima a followe up call dari seseorang ni menyatakan yang profile I will only be 'KIV'...since they reviewed me to be relevant BUT there are several candidates with heavier weights in terms of experience" In other words I will only be considered if the rest turn out otherwise...Ini bukan persoalan tak dapat kerja...cuma rasa kecewa kerana profile I tak dapat nak impress diorang. Bila tengok JD bukannya work task tu I tak boleh buat..if only they talk to me in person and see whether I have what it takes...

Backtrack sikit....2 minggu lepas tanpa diduga I dapat phone call from a head hunter. Berborak sampai sejam...dia minta I email CV I kat dia. At 1st bila tengok job description tu...memanglah terasa amat terujanya..cos for the 1st time I thought...inilah peluang ku untuk nak pegang jawatan ketua unit! Wah! Hebatnya! Seronoknya! Yang pasti gajinya tentulah best...untung badan...rezeki anak beranak I dok pikir...Syiokla kalau kali nie dapat le berbelanja lebih & dapat jugak buat simpanan. Sebetulnya bukanlah I terdesak nak pindah kerja...tempat I berkeja nie kira OKlah jugak. Cuma sejak-sejak kebelakangan ni bila HQ office kat Norway melalui re-org macam-macam perubahan berlaku, termasuklah portfolio we all. I frust jugak bila rasa new direction nie tak sesuai dengan keinginan peribadi..rasanya experience I yang 12 tahun nie takde value nya...but then again...nak mengubat perasaan I dok pikir jugak..maybe it's good also nalk belajar benda baru. Expand kan pengetahuan nie dan cuba perbaiki diri kearah yang lebih positif :). On the other side of it...I still rasa yang I perlukan options.

Anyway, hidup tak selalu senang. tak semua yang kita nak...kita boleh dapat. Kekadang kita rasa seronok kalau setiap kali nasib menyebelahi diri. Tapi bila hajat tak kesampaian, impian tak menjadi kenyataan...jodoh tak panjang..kita berasa teramatlah hampa & kecewa. So, masa tulah ujian terbesar bagi kita hanyalah bergantung kepada cara kita mengharunginya. Kuat ke semangat kita? Teguh ke kesabaran kita? Cekal ke hati kita? Tebal ke iman kita? Atau kita persoalkan nasib malang yang menimpa?...dan blame benda-benda lain yang menyebabkan kita gagal.

So kali nie..macam waktu-waktu dulu bila terasa kecewa..I told myself "it's not my time yet..it's not my rezeki..it was not meant to be because things happen for a reason." Dan mungkin ada hikmah disebalik kekecewaan I hari ni...Like back then bila putus kasih, kita dok pikir penat aje bercinta & berusaha bila ketentuan tuhan jodoh kita tiada dengan si dia. Tapi Allah itu maha mengetahui...setiap kegagalan & kehampaan yang dia turunkan pada kita ada lah ujian, dan kalau kita bersyukur dan tak patah semangat insyallah ada lagi yang lebih baik sebenarnya untuk kita ...

Kalau bukan rezeki...terima sajalah Aida...

4 days, 3 nights in Bangkok

2010-10-06T01:59:00.000+08:00

I am attending Device gathering in Bangkok organised by my company. Took MAS flight, 2.05 hours of journer, no entertainment what so ever (no screen TV, no radio no nothing!) and the food was AWFUL! I chosed some sort of a flat noodles & black peppered beef. Honestly cold maggi mee taste a whole lot better! Twas a dissapointing experience!

Arrived at the Suvarnabhumi Airport yesterday afternoon 5pm. Weather was humid, rained a bit. Decided to take the public transportation because I had a feeling the traffic was bad & congested, it would take me more than an hour just to get to the hotel. So the train was a good option, several switching from train to monorail and a bit of a walk I reached to Sheraton hotel. It was a pretty good walk, I reckon I burned some calories along the way. But it was worth it, had a good glimpse of Bangkok after office hours, traffic was building up (not an unusual site since KL is no different at all!).

Just complete the 1st day of the conference...it was good. Met familiar Norwegian faces & make new friends from Pakistan and Thailand. Had a group dinner, Tom yam again but tonite was better than yesterday. It was at one of the impressive fusion restaurant but I am still hungry now cos' didn't had much then. Rice came later, tom yam was an appetizer...too shy to take too many mango & sticky rice dessert. But can't have much cos' they were serving duck and liver..and some beef stuff that obviously I couldn't touch. Fusion is not my thing though, the soft shell crabs doesn't taste as good as I expected...Anyhow it's all part of the experience.

Looking forward for tomorrow, hopefully another inspiring & fruitful event. I miss the kids..Thank God ibu ayah jumped in to fill up the gap! Feeling slightly bad cos' when I left the 3 kids are down with cough & flu. I know this is pretty taxing for ibu ayah..and haris...but don't worry kids, ibu coming home soon and I promise, I will make it up to you guys!

Sawadikap!

Menyambut Aidilfitri

2010-09-28T15:50:00.000+08:00

Tahun nie, kami sekeluarga menyambut raya Aidilfitri secara sederhana. Yang penting bersama orang-orang yang kita sayang. Haris sungguhlah baik hati, alhamdulillah..dia beralah dengan kita untuk berada di Seremban pada malam raya. Tahun ni jugak, Dura & boy beraya sebelah mertua jadi kita volunteer untuk bersama ibu ayah on raya eve. Nak jugak tolong buat rendang or mana-mana yang patut. Kami sekeluarga kekalkan warna baju senada. Haris "recycle" baju melayu deep brown dia tu, kita finally berjaya tempah kain sari yang dibeli setahun lepas masa memula pergi ke Dhaka. Hakeem & Maira masing-masing pakai baju melayu plain senada warna kita; Goldern yellowish. Dan Hazrik kita belikan baju melayu cekak musang with lighter brown.

Kita sempat menjenguk keluarga di Glenmarie raya pertama. Makan & mentong rendang dengan mama & papa yang kita bekal dari Seremban. Hana sefamily join selepas balik dari rumah mertuanya. Makan sambil berbual...kami balik agak lewat ke rumah Sunway Kayangan.
Tahun ni jugak kami beramai-ramai kecuali Dura & Ted pulang ke Mersing..itupun pada raya ke 3. Bersantai, main mercun dan makan lagi...itu aje aktiviti kami. Sempat menjenguk kubur Tok Rahim & Pak Long pagi raya ke 4, kami terus singgah rumah Uncle Aman. Riuh rendah sekejap melayan Azian & Wan, kami menghentam kuih gunting sampai tinggal setengah balang. Malam tu ke rumah acik..mak adib & ayah Izhar pun ada...pekena mee bandung home made style! Apa penangan program tv kali nie, asyik dok pasang cerita hantu. Di rumah acik sambil makan-makan kami melayan cerita ding dong "Momok The Movie".

Raya ke 4, kami berpecah dengan ibu ayah & boy sekeluarga. Mereka drive south ke JB...we all ke "kampung" lagi satu di Kuantan...hehehhehe Swiss Garden. Sebenarnya nak amik kesempatan cuti panjang nie nak bawa the kids for a short hotel holiday. So ke sana le kami anak beranak..makan..berendam kat pool dan bersantai di tepian pantai sambil bermain pasir. Kali ni tak sempat nak amik gambar...camera tak bawa...Yang bagusnya time ni, masa check in Haris memang dah book bilik yang biasa, super deluxe. So kita dapat bilik yang ok sahaja dengan 2 single beds plus 1; so ada 3 la...then masuk-masuk aje toilet..bau hancing. En. Haris mana suka benda-benda ni sume...so dia pi le complain..alih-alih diberinya bilik yang lain..on a different wing. Memula contemplate jugak nak tukar bilik cos, bilik yang kami dapat ni..OK sebenarnya dekat sangat dengan pool. Tapi memandangkan tak sabar nak tunggu orang cleaner datang nak bersihkan toilet kami decided to pindah ajelah. Tengok-tengok, untung badan kami dapat bilik family...ada jacuzzi..2 tv, 2 single beds + 1 king size bed on the other attached room! Seronok sakan kami anak beranak!! Rezeki jangan di tolak..kami terima dengan besar hati :). 2 Malam di Kuantan dah kira cukup, tapi malangnya Haris kena gigit jellyfish di kedua belah kakinya. Kesian..memula terasa pedih katanya then terasa gatal-gatal la pulak. Nasib baik tak kena the kids. Masa tu kami tengah sibuk bermain pasir & kutip siput dan Haris seorang diri tengah syiok sendirian merendamkan kaki di tepi pantai. Alih-alih dia bergegas ke arah kami kesakitan..kesian. Rupanya, kata pekerja di situ, kalau air tenang memang jellyfish naik, and so far takde pun penghuni hotel yang terkena, Haris was the 1st...Dah nak kena...kalau menang loteri takpe gak...:P

Di penghujung minggu kami sekeluarga dah balik ke Sunway Kayangan semula. Sempat le bekal sedikit keropok & ikan masin dari Kuantan. Kami dah buat plan nak berkumpul hari Sabtu pula sebelah keluarga Glenmarie cos tahun ni, semua berpecah kecuali Hana yang tak pergi jauh cos mertuanya dekat le sangat. Kali nie, kami berlonggok di rumah baru mama & papa..Their weekend house di Sunway Kayangan dah siap, cuma takde furniture lagi. So bersantai di lantai, beralaskan tikar kami menjamu mee hoon goreng, rendang mama & lemang. Kita sediakan ayam goreng & roasted chicken salad. Riuh le sekejap rumah baru mereka dengan cucu-cucunya. Kami berdedai pulang selepas maghrib. Kali nie tak le lepak lama cos masing-masing ada plan yang lain selepas itu. Yang tak best nya kali nie, tahun nie takde gambar langsung keluarga sebelah Glenmarie ni..Sorang pun tak bawa camera...jadi melepas le peluang nak berposing.

Dugaan hidup

2010-09-24T10:25:00.000+08:00

Malam semalam kita dapat sms dari kawan lama. Berita tak baik, cos ketika itu isterinya terpaksa melalui proses biopsy, suspect tumor di leher. Pagi tadi semasa kita memandu di highway NKVE satu lagi sms dari dia; ianya kanser dan agak kritikal. Tergamam sekejap, sedih pun ye. Walaupun kita tak berapa rapat dengan isterinya, tapi tak boleh bayangkan apa yang dilalui oleh dia berdua suami isteri. Anak-anak masih kecil, sebaya dengan anak kita...

Kita hanya mampu berdoa semoga mereka berdua tabah hadapi dugaan. Semoga isterinya cepat sembuh. Kita sms dia balik "Tengah hari ni kita free, kita datang jumpa you lepas you solat Jumaat. Hang in there..." Itu saje yang boleh termampu...

Kuih raya

2010-09-04T18:11:00.000+08:00

My favourite kuih raya memang kuih suji...dan kuih tart yang ibu selalu buat. Lately nie bila dah tak duduk sebumbung dengan ibu, kami jarang sempat nak buat kuih. Maybe 2-3 tahun yang lepas Dura akan cuba buat kuih tart gunakan resepi ibu with me dok tolong-tolong letakkan jem nenasnya. This year macam payah lah pulak. Tiap-tiap weekend bila nak berkumpul, timing tak pernahnya sama...so at the end...kuih tart dalam kenangan. me alone nak mencuba buat kuih tart rasa macam lah payah (or maybe malas???)...so dengan tak malunya kita minta Haris belikan kuih raya dari kawan ofisnya this year (which actually is not bad at all!...) but the feeling tak sama....nak buat macam mana ek?

akan tetapi..setahu kita, kuih suji nie senang;ah kononnya. So dengan semangat yang membara, kita dok beli bahan-bahan nak buat kuih suji. Sekarang in between menunggu adunan perap dalam fridge 10min..kita berblog. Kalau jadi nak upload gambar sebagai bukti! Wish me luck!!

Ketetel

2010-08-28T06:02:00.000+08:00

Ketetel: bermaksud berjalan atau menari sambil berjengket-jengket. Atau dalam keadaan yang laju sehinggakan macam kera dapat bunga. Excited gitu...

Sebagai contoh:

Dari Seremban ke Janda Baik

2010-08-24T00:11:00.001+08:00

Perancangan yang secara spontan lebih berkesan dari yang kita plan beriya-iya. Hujung minggu lepas kami pulang ke Seremban, nak buka dengan ibu ayah. Sabtu tengahri lagi kami dah sampai Seremban. Berjayalah jugak nak masakkan ibu buttered prawn yang dijanjikan. Haris nak makan tomyam udangnya, so sampai aje Seremban lepas kami punggahkan barang-barang, kami terusa ke Giant Seremban. Dapat la barang sikit, tapi bahan-bahan nak buat tomyam takde...sraight ke kedai runcit terdekat. Baru lah dapat serai dan limau yang kami nak.

Malam tu berbuka memang special. Ibu masak kari kepala ikan, kita buat tomyam sikit (atas permintaan Haris), dan buttered prawn tu. Dessert ibu buatkan kita bubur teligu (pengat barli)...manyak syiok! Seperti selalu malam tu kita berbual ibu sampai la pukul 2 pagi. Citer macam-macam, dari tudung baru yang ibu beli, baju melayu untuk bebudak...resepi untuk di bawa ke surau...kalau tak ayah masuk bilik mau tak melalut berborak sampai ke sahur..hehehehee....

Mai & Keem berposing dalam dusun.

Ahad, secara spontan Haris mentioned pasal Janda Baik, kebun ayahnya yang sekarang tengah lebat dengan buah-buahan. Kita jangan mentioned pasal kebun, buah...terus bersiap-siap lebih awal untuk ke sana. Kalau boleh nak kutip sebanyak-banyak manggis...Lepas zuhur kami bertolak. Singgah rumah Shah Alam, then straight ke Janda Baik. By the time sampai ke sana dah masuk 5 petang. Rambutan memang banyak, Duku langsat belum masak lagi, tapi manggis tinggal sikit jer. Kali ni tak sempat mandi sungai..terlalu lewat lagipun bulan puasa, makruh la pulak kalau berendam-rendam nie...And nak kejar kan solat asar so kami bergegas keLake Club untuk berbuka dan solat di sana. Sampai rumah 9 malam...penat tapi seronok. Malam tu semua tidur berdengkurrrr.....zzzzzzzzz.....

Syiok! duku langsat, tapi belum masak. 2 minggu lagi!

Jik takut semut! alahai!

Ayah & Jik mencuba nak kait rambutan yang merah-merah,semuanya tinggi-tinggi belaka.

my Hakeem, sungguhlah rajin!

Frust betul...

2010-08-20T13:43:00.000+08:00

Dugaan...bulan nie kena banyak bersabar. Rasa macam nak meletup dada nie menahan stress tapi apakan daya, takat mampu bersabar ajelah. Nak meradang pun nak buat apa, nampak bodoh sendiri.

Kes 1:
Seminggu lepas handphone line kena barred pasal tak abis bayar bil...so bila kita call Customer Service Center untuk nak bayar tak boleh pulak cos credit card kena register dulu. Nasib baik sikit cos orang tu beri kelonggaran untuk remove the barring untuk 5 hari. So niatnya nak bayar la bil tu bila ke DiGi ofis hari Isnin nanti. Nak jadi kan cerita....(hehhehehe old school style)... training yang sepatutnya di HQ DiGi tukar ke Subang Villa. Melepas la peluang nak pi bayar on time. Stuck kat traning 3 hari berturut-turut abis pukul 5 petang, mana ada peluang nak singgah menyinggah. Abis training berebut balik nak nak masak untuk buka. Laa tu, hari Selasa kena barred lagi. Tension betul. Bila call helpline...langsung tak boleh Help. Katanya kita dah diberi peluang jadi takleh tolong apa-apa lagi, jadi nak taknak kena terima. Puas kita explain situasi, stuck kat DIGI training...ingatkan kalaulah kita ni dah kira adik beradik satu company dapat la bantuan ke apa. Malangnya...takde nasib kali nie. Tang tu dah stress dah. Ada handphone takleh call. Kita tahu, sepatutnya kita kena lah amik inisiatif nak settle kan masalah nie...tapi tulah kan...nak pegi bayar bermakna abis training kena lah pi cari DiGi Center...dengan jam lagi dengan berebut lagi...

Kes 2:
Semalam abis meeting kat DiGi awal, so amik le kesempatan nak menyettlekan permit kijer si Yus ni. So direct dari Subang Hi tech terus ke PKNS. Sampai-sampai kat imigresen, pegawai tu cakap, dalam system takde record fomema untuk Yus. Aik! musykil, bukankah 27hb Julai, dah pegi hantar si Yus ke klinik untuk medical check up dia. Then 11hb Klinik call kena amik urine test sekali lagi cos test pertama tak berapa bagus. In the initial record cakap status maid nie kena "kuarantin"..bermakna 1st test result menunjukkan dia tak lepas, walaupun "penyakit" sekadar kencing kotor, bukannya TB ke sakit jantung ke..or sakit otak ke...Dah retake the test 11hb tu, kita call la klinik 13hb Ogos nak tahukan keputusannya. Staff klinik tu cakap "Dah OK, lepas"...Dengan perasaan lega, kita pun pikir, OKlah sekarang tinggal nak settle kat immigration ajelah, pi amik Visa berkerja. 3 hari stuck kat training baru semalam dapat ke immigration. Dari pejabat immigration tingkat 2, kita ke pejabat Fomema tingkat 3. Di Fomema, dia kata klinik tak update lagi dalam sistem. Suruh call Fomema HQ kat Damansara cos diorang tak monitor case, sekadar beri borang & amik borang aje...lah ye ke??? ingatkan Pejabat Fomema fungsi semuanya sama...Call aje Fomema Damansara...kena tunggu lagi setengah jam cos waktu rehat (depa tak kijer waktu rehat/makan)...kisahnya...then tunggu punya tunggu dapat call..kena pas kan pegawai yang in charge, tapi line busy. Tunggu lagi. Pemutusnya dapat tahu, klinik yang tak update kan result yang terbaru. Call klinik, orang tu tak tahu cos dia tak handle case Yus. So dia tak boleh jawab sama ada klinik dah fax result ke fomema ke belum, tapi janji nak call balik once dah find out. Tunggu lagi..Memandangkan tempoh VISA entry Yus hanya bertahan sebulan kita ke pejabat imigresen lagi (tingkat 2) nak minta special extension sebulan lagi. Tapi takde receipt Fomema nak submit kat pegawai imigresen tu, so disuruh pi amik kat pejabat fomema for the copy. Naik lagi tingkat 3. Sampai sana request la copy resit tu...Bila dia soal lebih-lebih, dia pi contact pegawai kat HQ ofis. cos katanya "Nape lambat clinic tu nak submit result kalau dia kata result tu OK?"...laaa...mana kita tahu! Jadi Fomema buat follow up dekat klinik..katanya nak tolong kita (apa-apalah...beri jelah resit tu)..Bila dah dapat resit kita ke pejabat imigresen tu balik. Tunggu lagi. Bila dipanggil 30min kemudian, kata pegawai tu "Puan, ni kena bayar RM100 kerana visa sementara dah expired. Maid masuk 16hb Julai, sepatutnya benda ni sume kena settle dalam satu bulan tu.." Dengan muka sedih kita cakap la.."Saya tahu, tapi kalau result klinik tak keluar lagi macam mana? Saya tak sempat nak settlekan awal-awal dan sampai telupa tarikh. Saya bukannya lewat berbulan-bulan, sekadar 3 hari aje nie. Tak boleh tolong ke?"...End up, tak dapat buat apa-apa..bayar RM100 jugak (sayang duit tu...)..Tunggu 45min lagi sampai give up. Inform pegawai tu, esok jelah kita datang dah petang sangat. Makanan Buka belum prepare apa-apa lagi. Then turun bawah ingatkan nak terus balik, nampak pasar Ramadhan kat tepi PKNS tu. Selamat! Beli lauk sikit, nasi lemak sikit, kuih sikit...then terpikir, what if surat dari imegeresen tu Yus dah ready? Naik balik to check. Nasib la baik, surat & pasport ada. Dapat aje dokumen tu...kita terus ke kereta, nak balik...berebut nak kejar waktu sembahyang nie...

Penat betul bila ingatkan balik. Tak salahkan sape-sape.... Malam tu tido kepala rasa berserabut sangat, pinggang sakit, lutut sakit, hati sakit...frust betul....

Aizat...lagi

2010-08-14T02:12:00.000+08:00

Am I right about him or what????

PERGI - AIZAT

2010-08-14T02:07:00.000+08:00

Salute to Aizat, discovered this song "Pergi"...while searching for his other song "Lagu Kita".
The more I search, the more I like him...most of his songs would have a deeper meaning and most of all suits him completely! I must be blind not to realized this earlier, apparently he composed most of his songs including "Lagu Kita"...
In a short time, he had made quite an achievement...
http://www.mmail.com.my/content/aizat%E2%80%99s-star-keeps-rising

Who would have thought, this talented boy was not the main favourite in the AF5...he did not have the commercial look, thus you can imagine he was not highly voted eventhough he had one of the most best vocal. But, I must say, of all the participants of Akademi Fantasia...Aizat stands out more..for me this boy is pure talent with awesome voice! The late Yasmin Ahmad chose "Pergi" for her Talentime soundtrack. Aizat wrote the Malay version of the "I go" by Pete Teo. Give it a listen if you have not. I promise you, you will fall in love with the song...

Listening to his song at 1.30am...

I miss...

2010-08-13T13:24:00.000+08:00

I miss those simple life where you don't get a call where ever you are. In fact a phone call can be made in one place at a time.
I miss those early Saturday morning of cartoons program one after the other until ibu had to scream at us to get a shower.
I miss a good simple maggi mee Asam Laksa with an egg and bits of cili padi when it's raining outside.
I miss walking to the nearest store to get my TokCu her mamee snack supply
I miss those once a month event when ibu is on leave and she took us all to McD for our feast of Big Mac and coke.
I miss those long heart to heart conversation with Along while listening to our old radio playing NKOTB...Tommy Paige...Debbie Gibson....till 12am.
I miss those sneek get away with Boy driving ibu's car when she's not around...heading to Benteng Seremban spending 10 bucks on the laksa penang, lai chee kang & rojak kangkong.
I miss feeling silly & goofy making lousy jokes over a movie scene...
I miss going out with the girls without thinking about the time I need to get back.
I miss skipping around with no pain on my knee.
I really miss those sambal belacan mixed with left over rice & kicap! Yummy! (Dura's favourite too!)

I've gone mellow...simply missing those simple things in life.
(3rd day of Ramadhan)

1431 Hijrah; Ramadhan 2010

2010-08-11T10:57:00.000+08:00

Bermulalah bulan Ramadhan bagi tahun 1431 hijrah (2010). Kali nie, semangat nak beramal terasa membuak-buak. Waktu sahur kami bangun dengan mengantuknya tapi berjaya jugak Hazrik memperabiskan sebungkus nasi lemaknya dan burger sekeping. Tapi pagi nie, belum apa-apa lagi dia dah gaduh lapar. Memang payah nak mula terutama pada hari pertama. Tapi insyaallah, dalam 2-3 hari mesti boleh tahan dan terima, badan pun dah boleh adapt. Sekarang, kami mengajar Hazrik berpuasa secara serius. Umur dia pun dah 8 tahun. Memang dah boleh sangat berlatih. Tahun lepas, sekadar separuh hari..memang susah masa tu kerana Hazrik ni memang pemakan. Harap-harapnya dia boleh bertahan lah kali nie.

Tahun nie jugak, dah masuk 12 kali kita & Haris menyambut puasa bersama-sama. Setiap kali bulan Ramadhan kita akan mentioned kat dia..."ingat tak masa kita mula-mula kenal dulu? Waktu tu lagi seminggu dua nak masuk bulan puasa." Dan masa tu lah kami mula rapat. Habis kerja sama-sama pergi ke pasar Ramadhan dekat Bukit Jalil. Tapi hanya sekali dua berbuka bersama. Masa tu kan hanya kawan, jadi dia balik berbuka dengan keluarganya dan kita masa tu duduk seorang dekat Cheras kerap berbuka puasa dengan geng ofis si Fauziah.

Jadi bulan Ramadhan umpama anniversary peringatan waktu kami berkenalan. Mungkin berkat bulan mulia tu jugaklah petanda kami bertemu jodoh kan? Siapa sangka baru kenal aje kami dah buat keputusan nak kahwin.

Bila usia meningkat, kita mula sedar dan faham banyak perkara yang dulu tak diberi perhatian. Betapa pentingnya mengambil kesempatan di bulan Ramadhan ni membuat amalan. Berpuasa bukanlah sekadar sibuk menunggu waktu berbuka, mencari hidangan yang kita kepingin nak makan sehari suntuk. Tapi yang lebih penting mempunyai kesedaran bahawa inilah peluang kita mendapat ganjaran Allah dengan membuat sebanyak-sebanyak amal ibadat. Dan ini adalah waktu terbaik mempunyai kesedaran untuk meninggalkan amalan yang tak baik.

Kita berdoa seluruh ahli keluarga, ibu ayah, mama, papa, Along, Ted, Boy, As...dan keluarga Haris disebelah sana sihat dan semuanya selamat menjalankan ibadah puasa. Semoga tahun nie, kami semua mendapat keberkatan dan ganjaran dunia akhirat.

Selamat berpuasa semua!

Tipah tertipu...

2010-07-28T15:23:00.000+08:00

Semalam over lunch dengan kawan-kawan office, one of our friend start bercerita yang dia sekarang hilang confidence level. Dengan muka frustnya dia buka cerita yang beberapa hari yang lepas, dia terima satu call (fixed line) kononnya dari jabatan kad kredit Bank Rakyat. "Pegawai" di talian tu ingin nak confirmkan application kawan I berkenaan permohonan dia untuk nak increasekan had kad kredit dia. Ofcourse kawan I nie terkejut cos dia tak pernah ada kad kredit dari Bank Rakyat, apatah lagi terkejut bila diberitahu yang kad itu digunakan untuk membuat satu pembayaran sebanyak RM9000 dari Singapura. Kononnya lagi kad itu telah di kealurkan dari cawangan Miri. So bila "pegawai" tu confirmkan nama & no. IC kawan I..semuanya betul. Nampak gaya "pegawai" tu ada butiran kawan I ni. Untuk nak block nama kawan I disalahgunkan "pegawai" nie pun berilah no. Bank Negara untuk dia hubungi. Kawan I nie pun, contact la no. tu. Silapnya dia tak counter check no. yang diberi tu...Bila dia call no. tu, ada pula orang menjawab. Secara professional orang ini melayan aduan kawan I. . Salah satu panggilan yang dia buat, dia ada bercakap dengan seorang lelaki cina yang kononnya pegawau Bank Negara. Yang musykilnya, dia bercakap dalam Bahasa Melayu dengan fasih. Apabila kawan I nie bertanya dalam Bahasa Inggeris, dia minta berbual dalam Bahasa Melayu. Katanya, temu bual ni perlu direkodkan kerana ingin digunakan dalam mahkamah..so nak taknak kawan I yang berbangsa cina nie pun berbual lah dalam bahasa Melayu dengan pegawai ni. Salah satu request bualan mereka, pegawai ni meminta kawan I ni pergi ke ATM untuk menyelaraskan akaun simpanannya...tak tahulah macam mana sampai ke situ...kawan I boleh plak ke ATM machine nak menekan beberapa butang yang telah diarahkan berserta dengan beberapa no. kod yang diberi pada kawan I nie. Tanpa bertanya atau terasa curiga dia buat apa yang di suruh. Siap beri arahan jangan ikut apa arahan yang tertera kat skrin, cuma key in nombor-nombor kod yang diberi. Ntah macam manala dia buat, tapi kawan I cakap..orang dalam phone tu memang smooth giler sampaikan dia tak rasa curiga langsung.Tup tup..satu resit keluar. Time tulah kawan I tersentak bila tersedar duit dalam saving dia kurang 5k. Dah mula rasa cuak dia call balik no "Bank negara" tu...orang tu jawab balik. Bila ditanya apa dah jadi; kenapa duit dia kurang 5k..."pegawai" tu cakap..itu prosedur biasa...duit dikembalikan nanti...But ofcourse dia dah rasa lain macam aje. Bila minta bantuan Bank, ofcourse bank kata dia tak boleh buat apa-apa kerana duit tu ditransfer oleh kawan i sendiri.

So..nak taknak dia terpaksa berulang alik ke balai polis membuat aduan. Malangnya pagawai polis yang nak ambil rekod ni kata kawan I...macam tak tahu apa-apa. Bila ditanya lebih-lebih semuanya tak tahu..Buat polis report pun...polis tu siap suruh kawan I sendiri yang type kan kat computer cos pjg. sgt katanya (laaaaa???)...Walaupun nampak mcm mudah...no. fixed line tu masih aktif...No. akaun yg duit tu ditransfer kan ada...tapi tak tahulah..kenapa polis tak ambil tindakan secepat mungkin. Kata mereka...mereka tgh monitor..Ntah apa yang dipantau? At the end...kawan I sekrg masih menunggu apa yg selanjutnya selepas membuat aduan polis...no. "bank negara" "no. pemanggil dari Bank Rakyat" tu masih aktif..Yang pasti..duit gaji nya lesap RM5000 begitu saje. kesian kawan I ni, dahlah dia sorang aje yang bekerja menampung isteri dan dua anak-anaknya yang masih kecil.

Kita biasa terima email dari kawan-kawan tentang scam mcm ni, tak sangka yang ianya terjadi pada seorang kawan sendiri. Itulah...nasihat pada semua..beringatlah..kalau terima panggilan pelik-pelik macam ni tolong jangan layan. Kalau nak ikutkan, kawan I ni seorang yang cermat & berhati-hati. Tak boleh nak jelaskan kenapa dia boleh terpedaya. Sama ada kes pukau ke, atau secara langsung dia terperangkap kerana perasaan cuak kerana takut nama nya terbabit..dia dah kena tipu dengan sindiket ni...

Apa-apa pun, pergi buat siasatan sendiri ke Bank Negara; betul ke nama kita digunakan oleh orang lain untuk kad kredit yang kita tak apply...Atau buat rujukan sendiri tanpa gunakan sebarang nombor-nombor yang diberi oleh sepemanggil. If it can happen ti my friend here, it can happen to anyone of us. Just be careful!

http://www.bnm.gov.my/index.php?
1-300-88-5465

SMS to 15888: BNM TANYA [your enquiry]
Email : bnmtelelink@ bnm.gov.my

Why do people cheat?

2010-07-26T16:22:00.000+08:00

This topic intrigue me. Over a lunch one day an office colleague of mine simply mentioned that MEN in general are polgamyst in nature; they can't stick to one woman. They may marry one but would they stay true to that person? Who knows? I don't disagree with her. But I do feel that infidelity is not caused by men alone. There are a bunch of women out there probably unhappy with their partner, cheat! They seek for emotional support that they don't get from their spouse. Where else men, on the other hand may fall for physical stuff...(the other new physical stuff which they had enough with their current partner)

So, why do we get married if we know that one way or the other we will get bored with our partner? Or we will realized that the romance won't last? We've seen our friends who had been married for years and jokingly they would say "enjoy your couplehood now, wait till you have a baby...things will be different" then they laughed. And we laughed nervously...thinking "Great! What did I got myself into?"
Or they go "yeah lah..honeymoon now la...come and tell me again after 6 months!" Don't sound promising eh?

Does that mean, married couple WILL get bored with their partner somewhere along the line? And when they got bored, they tend to find other people more interesting and attractive? They practically saw everything they need to see in us right? So what else to expect? Things becoming predicatble, routine and mundane. Nothing could happen...until they carrying this exccessive baggage of boringness and suddenly met this interesting individual that caught the attention. Suddenly he/she felt alive! Appreciated (maybe)...The workplace is one of the biggest temptations to relationships! Trust me, a survey by Durex revealed this!
http://www.datingwebsites.org/2010/06/who-cheats-more-men-or-women/

Some facts about this can be found here:
http://www.infidelityfacts.com/index.html

ScienceDaily (Sep. 13, 2008) — The probability of someone cheating during the course of a relationship varies between 40% and 76%.http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/09/080908185238.htm

Interesting article to ponder....
http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Do-Married-People-Cheat?&id=897406

This is a depressing topic really! With the statistics and all, it seems that we are all doomed to be cheated or maybe cheating on our partner if not today maybe 2-3 years time...Does this give the cheating partner to feel good about themselves that, the infidelity behaviour is a painful acceptance by the society? That falling to temptations are just normal?. OK I am getting sick to my stomach now...is it because this is a bitter topic or I just had a lousy lunch just now?

Pembantu baru

2010-07-20T11:13:00.000+08:00

Kita baru dapat pembantu baru, last weekend balik Seremban menghantar pembantu ibu yang kita pinjam 3 bulan. Rasa lega pun ada cos' pembantu yang lama ni susah nak bentuk. tegur lebih-lebih muka dia jadi kelat. Tak tegur pun susah, tapi pasal dia ni kes "pinjam" so tak boleh la nak cerewet sangat. Janji budak-budak OK, rumah berabuk sikit pejam jelah mata sebelah.

Kalau nak citer pasal kes-kes pembantu rumah ni, sampai malam pun tak habis. Sejak zaman tok nun lagi problem ada pembantu rumah lebih kurang sama aje. Tapi tak boleh dinafikan satu dalam seribu ada yang OK sangat-sangat. Pengalaman sendiri pun macam tu. Sejak ada anak pertama 9 tahun yang lepas, kita dah ada pembantu rumah nak masuk 10 orang, termasuk la 2-3 orang kes sementara (in between maid). Dalam 10 orang yang kita dapat, 2 orang betul-betul OK, seorang tu complete contract nya. Yang lain, ada aje ceritanya. Member ofis dok gelar kita "employer from hell" Kononnya terlampau garang. Walhasilnya pembantu yang awal-awalnya kita layan sangat lah baik. Nak amik hati konon, kesian depa jauh dari family...hidup susah. So ingatkan kalau lah kita jaga hati diorang lebih berterima kasih. At least seronok duduk/bekerja dengan kita. Tapi statisknya, yang pertama baru kije 4 bulan dah nak balik..katanya ayah dia nazak. Dah tu? Takkan nak larang ye tak? Yang rugi kita la jugak cos ejen tak nak layan, taknak beri ganti rugi walaupun kita dah belanja beribu-ribu nak dapat kan pembantu. Yang ke2 & ke 3 kes yang sama. Masuk 7-10 bulan dah takde mood nak kijer. Dah mula tengok kijer nak taknak, budak jatuh depan pun amik masa nak kejar..sometime buat tak tahu! Bila ditegur, sedar-sedar dah lari. Yang dilegalizekan permit pun ada, ingat dia berterima kasih, end up...dapat paspot dia berambus cos pacar offer kerja tempat lain. Ada jugak yang masuk tahun ke2, baru renew permit, 2 minggu selepas tu dia lari...Adusss...duit lagi, kena bayar penalty kat imigresen. Kena bayar balik ejen untuk dapat yang baru. Dalam hati dok pikir...kalaulah I can di without them...alangkah baiknya. Pilihan ada tapi pasti ada masalah-masalah lain pulak. Nursery, Babysitter...tak semudah itu.

Kekadang bila compare notes dengan kengkawan yang lain, ada kes yang lagi teruk. Syukur la sebelum ni, takde kes anak-anak dipukul tampar. Sekarang yang dua orang tu dah besar, kuranglah rasa sangsi. Apa-apa hal, diorang dah boleh mengadu. 2 hari yang lepas kita terserempak seorang pembantu jiran menyuap makan anak majikannya di tepi longkang belakang rumah. Lalu kita pun tegur la secara baik...kenapa diberi makan di sini, bukankah tempat ni kotor. Dan kita tanya majikan OK ke beri anak dia makan nasi di kawasan ini. Jawab si pembantu ni dengan nada yang agak keras (marah kot kita dok tegur dia) "Iyelah kalau majikannya tahu, pastilah tak OK". Dengan perasaan pelik kita tanya lagi "Dah tahu tak OK kenapa dibuat?" Selamba aje muka dia, pedulik apa dia dengan kita cos kita bukan bos dia ye tak? Geram rasanya...pengotor sungguh! Tak amanah..cos jaga anak orang ikut sukati dia. Kesimpulannya mereka nie depan kita maybe peluk-peluk anak kita. But the moment kita keluar rumah..tuhan saja yang tahu. Not all genuine & honest with their job. Some may, but not most!

So bermula lah episod baru kita dengan pembantu baru ni. Mintak-mintak dia OK. So far tak banyak mulut. Apa yang disuruh itu yang di buat. Mungkin terlalu awal nak buat penilaian. Kita dah go through the routine, dah beritahu mana yang patut. Sekarang masa yang menentukan...dan kena doa banyak-banyak yang kita dapat pembantu yang baik dan amanah menjaga anak-anak bila kita keluar bekerja.

Quiet time

2010-07-08T01:42:00.000+08:00

I cherish my quiet time. The fact that my life all this while is far from being quiet. I have a loud family, I love loud friends...it represent honesty and history you have with them. And when my siblings plus my parents are at our dinner table we talked about anything & everything...loudly. From far bystander would probably think we were all arguing or having some serious debate!!
I am myself considered to be loud (I hope in a good way). And I love it!

When I came for a job interview to the Cyberjaya office, the 2 interviewers asked me "Do I have any questions?"...I simply ask "Why is the office here is too quiet?"...jokingly ofcourse! I'm not quiet sure whether they get my joke, they'd probably think I was being rude. But they hired me anyway. :)

As years passed, I realized my personality took a bit of a twist...oh I'm still loud though but, I hold back some thoughts. Gone those time that sometimes my words gets ahead from my head. I quickly recap my thoughts first and carefully rephrase them and use the proper tones to ensure that it reflects well. My loudness were at time perceived as being impatient & intrusive. Too quick to assume a judgement, too swift to pass a remark and sometime too early to bystand a defence. I guess this is what you call maturity, it comes with self realisation of years that passed you by and the learnings you get from mistakes you have made; intentionally or not.

Do you realized that matured people tend to listen more before giving an opinion? They tend to nod more; not a gesture of agreement but clearly to acknowldege some sort of understanding, or even perhaps a gesture that they are listening.

I hope in years, I grow wiser and more matured in making my life decisions. I still love the loudeness, to me...it brings out the life in me; but once in a while when you have quiet time for yourself (such as now) to do some thinking & self reflections; should be good too. It feed your soul in embracing maturity.

Beautiful Oslo

2010-07-06T23:18:00.000+08:00

I had the privilege to be in Oslo during summer this year, took a bit of pictures and managed to cover few attractions in between being there for work. Summer season was the best of time to be there, the local colleagues would tell me. Simply because the day is longer, so you'd be amazed to see that it was still bright outside eventhough the time was 9pm. The first few days I was there the Norwegian summer was not what I expected. It was cold and windy; reminded me UK in autumn. I was told that it rained a day before but a week before I came, the sun was out and it was sunny and bright. OK, so I figured eventually that summer time in Oslo can be pretty unique because it can be sunny today but if it rain it will be as cold as it can be. But then again, when I was there mid June, it was not quite summer yet...more of a transition period of turning summer.

What I love the most about the place was the people. Norwegian really love the nature. They are bunch of outdoor people. They spend quality time with the family doing the outdoor activities. And the weather won't stop them either. If it's winter, snow and cold they would go out and ski. If it's summer or spring they hike and jog. Fantastic!! This is the kind of lifestyle I myself would embrace. I love the fact that you spend quality time doing outdoor activities rather than being stuck in the house most of the time. It's has always been my dream to take my kids for a good camping one day!

The Statue park

Oslo itself is a unique town. The town is a mix of modern art & modern architecture but still retain the natural landscape. Some of the interesting places I have seen in Oslo was:
The Nobel Peace Center (That's right!!)
The Statute Park (Vigelandsparken)

The National Museum

The Opera (a very unique modern building)

Holmenkollen (ski jump tower)

The City Hall
The Palace (only from the outside)
Telenor HQ office (in Fornebu)
...and I discovered one Halal Kebab shop there!

the palace

discovered this in the middle of the town

On top of the Opera building

the breakfast

11pm! Believe it or not!

It was a heck of 2 weeks stay and I truly love being there.

Weekend of adventure

2010-07-05T17:29:00.000+08:00

I took my Friday off last week to join Haris for an event that he has to attend at Bukit Merah. I was so thrilled that ibu & ayah wanted to join since Haris was driving the Starex. With 3 kids at the back, grandparents and us...it was such a wild & fun ride. The ride was loud as you know with 3 excited kids (macam cuti sekolah la pulak!)..and ibu trying to manage all them. Ayah was so caught up with "Avatar" movie that I played in the car, he hardly said a word except asking me bit & pieces about the movie. We pushed off to Perak in the afternoon and soon enough reached to Bukit Merah slightly by 4pm. We stayed at The Bukit Merah service apartment there. As mentioned in the Trip Advisor, the place wasn't really that good. The pool was OK though, but the rest was pretty much so-so. The so called 2 rooms apartment was not much, Haris wasn't quite happy about it but at least the toilet is clean, they have hot water & air-cond. But you probably wouldn't stay more than 2 days...

Still plenty of time, the kids, ayah & me rushed to the pool with ibu relaxing nearby. Haris dozed quietly...since he had only had few hours of sleep before. That night we went to the nearby lake area. Initially there weren't many people until the FIFA match between Brazil vs Netherlands, we started to see some crowd. Ibu & I decided to take the kids back since it was really late. The men stayed to watch the football game.

We went to the animal park the next day. It was quite a walk but worth the trip. The place was clean and presentable. The kids was having so much fun, and for me to have ibu ayah around was a complete bonus! The place has a great potential, the tropical forest, the natural lake was fantastic but the whole commercialized "tourist" area was not up to the standard. I wish the staff are more professional, I wish the services are more customer friendly, I wish they would have local rate to attract 'working class' people across the nation and I wish they would have senior citizen services and special needed visitors (disabled ones). It is such a waste to have a world class wonderful natural attractions but the services provided are so 2nd class level.

Jalan-jalan cari makan

Our lunch was even more exciting because Haris took us to Sungai 2 in Penang for Mee Udang. We had that and fried crab along with fresh coconut juice. None of us has ever been there, so for all the 1st timers like us, it was an adventurous trip for lunch. And I must say the food was awsome! Later on we headed to the Penang island. Planning to stay in Penang for a night. Even though Haris's colleague had booked us rooms in Berjaya hotel, Haris insisted we tried our luck for a walk in room at a better located Hotel. We drove to some few high rated hotels, unfortunately we couldn't even get any room there. Some are full most are too pricy..at the end resuming to drive to the Berjaya Hotel, Haris took a wrong turn end up we were driving back to the Penang Bridge. 6pm then...at the end spontaneously we decided to head back. Ibu & I was a bit dissappointed because we were talking about having nice Nasi Kandar for dinner. Haris tried to book a last minute room in Lumut Swiss Garden but couldn't even secure any room that evening as well!

10pm, we reached Subang Jaya. Decided to get the nasi Kandar at Pelita SS15. We tapau, headed home and had a nice family dinner at the Sunway Kayangan Hotel; our home instead. I bet all of us slept snoring that night! :)

Obsesiku (rough version) by Aqasha

2010-07-01T15:23:00.000+08:00

Obsesiku (rough version) by Aqasha

always admired his talent. But I wish he streamline his music type...I personally like if he goes bit of R&B and Pop. His voice compliment it well...dangdut like? naaaah!

Obsession or motivation?

2010-07-01T13:25:00.000+08:00

Last weekend I measured my weight and realized that I gain back 2kg. It took me agonizing months just to sheds that off! Prior to my business trip, I have not been working out as frequent as I should. But I still watch what I eat...enough to make sure I don't overstuffed myself. And for some ironic reason after coming back from 2 weeks of business trip, the weight never seems to change as it was 6 months ago! This is so depressing!

Clearly I am so over the post pregnancy state because Hakeem is 2 now, and I can't use that as an excuse to be "over weight". I was at my worst after my delivery. Ofcourse I didn't feel so bad about it because I was pregnant right? But then I realized its not being fat that bothers me, I don't consider my self to be obsesive in getting slim (though I am inspired to gain back my figure)...I just don't want to be "out of proportion". Buying clothes can be a depressing thing. Most t-shirts that looks good on the mannequin looked awful on me. So I have to settle to baggier clother, mostly men's t-shirt which do not compliment me at all.

My objective is simple, I want to feel good about myself. In doing so I wanted to be healthy and fit. I am already at my late 30s. If I can't look good at this age, what else am I? Looking good is a subjective matter, I can't possible have the super model body, not fancy a flat ab (cos I don't remember ever had one before)...but I want to be in shape, I want to be able to shop for any darn clothes that I want. I want to be able to run up the stairs without having to stop and catch my breath. So I hit the gym again 2 days in a row (took an easy cardio on day 1since it has been a month)...by the 3rd day I took a slow walk with Hakeem in the afternoon. I literally told myself that I will not consume any sugar in my drinks! AT ALL!! By the 4th day, I think (and I hope its not just water retention) that 2kg are gone! IS THIS FOR REAL??? Perhaps because I was seriously monitoring my calorie intake (no more that 1400 calorie per day) + the exercise + the meal portion. The difference is now I started to create a daily diary of my calorin intake. I need to put the data out of my mind and jotted in down...literally. Previously, I was not so into this. I control my portion, had good lunch, skip rice for dinner...however still taking my coffee & tea with sugar.

This time, I am in for real. I need to see results. I can't just walking around thinking that this is impossible. I can't give my age as an excuses. I can't stop motivating myself just because I am tired. I don't need drastic results. I just need to make sure, I eat well, exercise more and stay positive. I cannot fall back to the same weight as I was 6 months ago...the pounds has to go, the fat has to go!! Slowly, gradually but surely...only 1pound a week. Thats all I need!

This post I dedicate to myself as a reminder of what I want now! It is a virtual documentation of my oath. It should validate me and bind me till the end of the year.

my lunch today: miso soup (86 calorie)

Jauh di mata dekat di hati...

2010-06-23T06:01:00.000+08:00

I have been away from my family for 11days now. By the time I reach home it will be a complete 12 days. Currently I am in my hotel room in Oslo, 12midnight...alone and cold. It's 12c degrees outside. I just had a cup of latte a while ago with a friend, slightly tired but not sleepy. Just finished packing my suitcase, making sure I leave out the clothes that I want to wear the next day. My flight is 2pm tomorrow, luckily the bus to airport is just a walk away.

The last time I was on a business trip was about a year ago, and it was only couple of days or so. This is the longest time I have been away from my kids & Haris. I tried not to think too much about it, just sink into my work. Each morning I would called ibu and had a quick chat with her and the kids (the kids are with ibu & ayah for the week of school holiday). Then followed by a call to Haris. Time difference is 6 hours behind from Malaysia, so by the time I called home it's the morning time for me and its in the afternoon there. Haris wasn't so keen for me to take more than a week away. He would prefer I spend as less away from the kids. I would prefer that too but this trip is different, I need to be here whether I like it or not.

The good thing behind all this, I realized that how much Haris misses me. He text me each morning to tell me how he feels and wish I'd come home soon. It boost my spirit sky high knowing that I am needed and appreciated. The last time he'd gone mellow was 11 years ago when he had to join his family to UK for 2 weeks. He was attending his sister's graduation followed by a week vacation to Egypt. I could still remember how agonizing it was for not able to see him. He cut his trip short and came home 4 days earlier. That wonderful time away was the turning point for both of us. We decided to get married. We realized that we couldn't possibly be away again.

This time, I can sense how lost he felt. At 1st he was upset with me for taking away the routine. He blame me ofcourse for causing his loneliness...with no kids around and me not being there. But what's important I discovered here that we never felt so lost then we ever did. We needed each other even more and we truly appreciate what we have. I am glad that something good come out from this. It is painful to be away from your loved ones. Oslo is a beautiful town, more so during summer. But I can't seem to enjoy it cos I can't share it with Haris & the kids. Each time I saw something nice and beautiful, my heart wish that I could experience the feelings with them. I wish they are here with me.

I am coming home soon, less than 24 hours I will be on a plane heading to Bangkok and then back home in KL. Will reach 12.15pm at KLIA 24th June 2010. With Haris waiting for me at the entrance gate to take me home to the kids.

Cakap-cakap pedas

2010-05-19T15:27:00.000+08:00

Pelik ye orang yang tak heran dengan undang-undang, tak bimbang dengan hukuman dunia & akhirat. Aku bukan berniat nak berkhutbah dan bukan nak berbahas macam orang yang tinggi ilmu agama atau ahli politik berwibawa, aku sedar...tahap kelemahan aku sendiri. Kalau nak dibandingkan ilmu yang aku ada dengan orang-orang lain, mungkin juga aku tak layak nak bercakap lebih-lebih isu bersangkut paut dengan agama atau ekonomi atau politik nie. Tapi aku rasa kan, walaupun aku nie bukan ustazah atau doktor falsafah sekurang-kurangnya aku sedar & paham apa dia dosa & pahala; yang salah & yang betul.

Bercakap pasal dosa & pahala nie, aku rasa semua orang alim ke tidak, paham benar apa yang menyebabkan orang tu berdosa & orang tu dapat pahala..tu semua dia ajar kita sejak kecik lagi. "Jangan pukul adik, berdosa" Jangan menjawab dengan orang tua, berdosa" "dapat pahala kalau tolong orang"...Memang la soal sama ada orang tu berdosa atau tidak bukan lah kita boleh congak & main cakap jer. Nie semua ketentuan Allah. Pahala & dosa bergantung kepada Dia.

So, secara amnya, konsep pahala dosa nie simple jer...amalkan berbuat baik, hindarkan sebarang kemungkaran. Sebodoh-bodoh mengutuk, mengumpat & menfitnah orang pun dah kira perlakuan yang tak baik apakan lagi kalau orang tu mencuri, membunuh, menyebabkan orang ditimpa kesusahan atas tindak tanduk kita yang tak bertanggungjawab. Kesimpulan asas dosa pahala nie berkait dengan benda yang haram & halal. Kita dapat pahala kalau jauhkan diri dengan benda yang haram...kita berdosa sekiranya kita mendekati perkara-perkara yang haram dilakukan. Simple kan?? Tapi ada jugak saudara-saudara kita di sana bukan tak paham, tapi buat-buat tak paham.

Yang aku cuba maksudkan di sini bukanlah nak mengenakan sesiapa yang aku kenal hidup atau yang dah mati. Langsung takde. Cuma tiap kali ada aje terpapar berita tentang penyelewengan atau salah guna kuasa, aku rasa teramat musykil, kenapa orang yang berjawatan tinggi (boleh dianggap orang yang pandai pasal dia memegang jawatan & tanggunjawab yang besar) boleh tersabit melakukan perkara sebodoh itu; songlap duit ke, gila kuasa ke...Aku rasa diorang nie pun bukan tak tahu tentang betapa beratnya amanah yang diberi. Kalau tidak masakan boleh digajikan sebegitu lumayan, ye tak? Oklah, aku tak pastilah besar mana gaji diorang nie tapi kalau dah pangkat management, ketua syarikat..takkan gaji dia seciput macam aku ni. Oleh demikian, argument aku kenapa la kalau dah sah diorang berpangkat tinggi & begaji besar nak guna cara yang salah untuk menambahkan kekayaan??? Dah banyak duit, apa masalahnya? Kata ayah aku...masalah orang-orang yang seumpamanya, dia jadi tamak.
Then apa hal pulak tentang amanah? Kalau sudah dipertanggungjawabkan sesuatu kerja, dan diupah pulak tu untuk menjana amanah syarikat tapi disebaliknya ada pulak motif peribadi...mana perginya integriti dan accountabiliy (bercampur aduk la pulak bahasa ku ini)? Orang bawahan buat salah, melenting tapi kalau tuan buat salah, buat cover up?
http://www.btimes.com.my/Current_News/BTIMES/articles/20100513144613/Article/index_html
Then bercakap pulak pasal teladan melalui kepimpinan; surat khabar STAR pagi nie...bercerita pasal seorang pemimpin politik kita seorang nie (actually dia punya kes tak lah sehebat yang lain-lain yang ada...tapi sebagai contoh, konsep kepelikkannya lebih kurang sama lah!!)...
Kalau lah jawatan kita nie dah terang-terang seorang pemimpin politik "Member of the parliment, an MP" bermakna jawatan yang dia pegang nie berdasarkan kepada kepercayaan yang orang beri kepada dia. Jadi tak salahkan kalau kita labelkan dia nie seorang pemimpin. And yet, benda sebodoh-bodoh nak kawin dua pun dia boleh melanggari undang-undang...apa macam? Nak berpoligami tu tak salah, tapi malangnya kalau lah di mata masyarakat nie kita tu dianggap sebagai ikon, lebih berat lah lagi bagi seorang pemimpin itu membuat setiap keputusan yang akan dia buat; tak kira secara peribadi atau pun tidak. Orang memandang, dan pula dicontohi. Jadi setiap tindak tanduk yang dilakukan perlu ada perasaan tanggungjawab. Tak kiralah kalau masa tu, dah bercinta habis dengan isteri muda yang cantik lagi terkenal. So sebagai orang bawahan, bila tengok pemimpin kita terang-terang melanggari undang-undang, perlukah kita menghormati beliau? Ini baru kes poligami, berkahwin tanpa kebenaran mahkamah bukan lagi yang berat-berat macam kena tangkap basah, ada hubungan sulit dengan budak bawah umur, ada aktiviti porno dengan mistress...And yet mereka nie masih ada pengikut & penyokong (barua la tu)...masih nak pegang jawatan tu.

Nie lebih kurang sama la kalau kita tengok orang yang sepatutnya menegakkan keadilan undang-undang merupakan orang yang melanggarnya "law maker, law breaker!!"...Statement dari salah satu sepanduk orang yang mengecam si MP nie. http://www.thesundaily.com/article.cfm?id=46929

Yang lagi satu nie pun, satu topik yang sungguh menarik. Macam cerita hindustan la...Kita semua dah maklum hukum alam kan?? Yang dia atas tak akan selalu berada dia atas; unless kita percaya pada hukum kasta la. Kalau kau dilahirkan di dalam kasta terendah sekali, maka kau tergolong daripada mereka yang tak berkemampuan, tak berpeluang dan tak kemana. Vice versa; kalau kau dilahirkan dalam golongan orang yang berada chances are hidup kau akan sentiasa senang, sure pegang jawatan tinggi, berpelajaran...

Tapi tak semua orang yang sekarangnya senang & mewah dulu dilahirkan dalam keluarga yang berada. Ada jugak sesetengah pemimpin kita nie datangnya dari golongan orang-orang biasa aje. Diorang bekerja keras, berwibawa dan mempunyai kepimpinan yang diperlukan. Tapi...persoalannya bukan sama ada mereka layak memegang jawatan tu atau tidak; yang penting adakah beliau menjalankan tanggunjawab yang telah diamanahkan. Adakah dia masih relevan? Dah tentu majoriti memilihnya kerana semua orang percaya kepadanya. Mereka mahukan ketua yang dapat membela nasib mereka dan mewakili suara mereka. TETAPI, manusia kalau dah manusia la katakan tak semua yang dilakukan sempurna. Ada la terkadang tersilap sana sini...tapi kalau dah pegang jawatan tu terlalu lama kesilapan yang sikit-sikit akan nampak banyak. Tu pendapat aku. Aku tak kata seseorang yang pegang jawatan tertinggi atau ahli politik ni tak boleh buat silap langsung, tu kena tengok kepada jenis & tahap kesilapannya jugak...tak boleh la pemimpin yang berkempen membenteras korupsi end up jadi orang yang corrupted pulak!

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/5/20/nation/6297339&sec=nati

Walaupun kebanyakkan orang yang macam aku nie, duduk atas pagar kerana keliru dengan apa yang ada terpapar di luar sana. Yang sini kata begini, yang sana bangkang sebegitu...kekadang tu tak tahu mana yang betul mana yang tidak. Tapi aku tak boleh nak elakkan diri nie memberi pendapat walaupun sekadar di dalam blog yang tak seberapa ini. Banyak lagi masalah-masalah besar. Ramai lagi orang-orang yang tak bernasib baik perlukan pembelaan. Masih ada lagi isu keselamatan; masih lagi ada kemiskinan. Wakil rakyat turun padang bila nak berkempen, bila ada pilihanraya atau bila sesuatu malapetaka berlaku - keluar dalam berita...baru la datang menjenguk. Aku tak puas hati...

Tatkala mata melihat & telinga mendengar

2010-05-18T12:12:00.000+08:00

Semalam anakku Hakeem meniru satu gelagat yang ingin aku kongsi bersama di dalam blog ini. Semasa Haris bersiap sedia untuk bersolat isyak, dia membentangkan sejadahnya dia atas lantai. Selepas itu dia ke bilik air seketika. Hakeem yang pada mulanya sedang elok bermain-main seorang diri dia atas tilam pergi ke sejadah dan berdiri di atasnya. Aku sedang leka dengan laptop ku, menoleh ke arahnya dan terpegun dengan keletahnya. Dia memandang aku lalu berkata "tim abar" (Keem Allahuakhbar)...memahami maksudnya aku mengangguk dan berkata "OK, Hakkem nak sembahyang ye?"...dia menjawab "ah"...mengiyakan pertanyaanku. Aku memanggil Haris. Kami melihat perlakuannya bersama. Memulakan dengan mengangkat tangannya dia terus meniarap di atas sejadah itu dan melaungkan Allahuakhbar dengan pelatnya. Kemudian dia duduk dan terus berkata amin dan menyapu mukanya dengan kedua-dua tangannya.

Bayangkanlah, seusia 2 tahun dia mengajuk perlakuan ayahnya ketika bersembahyang. Tak sempurna, tetapi konsep melakukan solat itu padanya bukanlah sesuatu yang ganjil.

Ini membuktikan bahawa, anak-anak memerhati perlakuan kita; buruk & baik. Mereka mengajuk perlakuan kita walaupun tidak memahami sepenuhnya.

Ini mengingakan aku kembali tentang seseorang semasa aku berusia 13 tahun. Masa tu, kami menetap dia KKB semasa ayah mengajar dia Maktab Polis. Dia ni bukanlah kawan rapat, tetapi salah seorang anak polis di berek belakang yang memang terkenal dengan kenakalannya. Yang aku ingat sangat pasal dia ni, suka sangat mencarut-carut. Maklumlah, dalam keluarga aku manakan mungkin kami boleh bercakap seumpamanya. Memang tak pernahlah kami adik beradik berani nak bercakap kasar sesama sendiri (mau tak terbeliak mata ibu kalau kami bercakap bukan-bukan). Jadi tiap kali aku mendengar ucapannya yang agak kasar, dan menyebut beberapa perkataan yang sungguh asing aku rasa tidak selesa. Aku rasa pelik macam manalah budak yang lebih muda dari ku, boleh mempunyai kebebasan "cakap lepas"?...Ketika aku berpeluang berlegar-legar di kawasan berek polis belakang rumah ku, aku terdengar pekikan seorang ibu kepada anaknya; aku tersedar bahawa ibu itu sedang memarahi anaknya. Bila ditenung lagi, aku menyedari bahawa perempuan itu ada lah ibu kepada budak lelaki itu; sambil menjerit-jerit kepada anaknya, tak lepas-lepas ungkapan kasar umpama carutan kepada anaknya. Aku masa tu pun bukanlah bijak sangat, baru tingkatan 2 tapi yang buat aku terpegun melihat betapa kasarnya bahasa digunakan oleh ibu itu pada anaknya. Patutlah budak lelaki itu langsung tidak kekok dengan bahasa-bahasa carutan kerana dia terlalu biasa mendengarnya di rumahnya.

Jadi bayangkanlah, betapa persekitaran keluarga penting membentuk personaliti anak-anak. Kalau si ayah sudah biasa memukul isterinya di depan anak-anak..walaupun anak-anak berasa takut, bukankah itu sudah menjadi kebiasaan pada mereka? Bagaimana seorang perempuan dilayani oleh lelaki, bagaimana kekerasan menjadi penyelesaian kepada masalah.

Aku bukanlah seorang yang sempurna tapi aku kerap mengingati diriku agar jangan mudah terikut-ikut dengan perasaan marah, jangan cepat melatah dan bertindak bodoh kalau terasa keliru. Kalau boleh tidak mahu anak-anakku terdedah dengan sikap negatif ku. Anak-anak memerhati tindak tanduk kita, mereka mendengar ucapan kita bila kita bercakap. Mereka akan bertanya kenapa orang itu bersikap ganas atau kasar atau sebaliknya. Mereka inginkan penjelasan...tapi apa gunanya kalau kita bersikap umpama "ketam mengajar anaknya berjalan lurus?"...Kalau kita tidak menunjukkan perlakuan yang baik masakan kita mengharapkan anak kita bersikap mulia?

Pernah suatu hari Hazrik bertanya kepadaku, semasa kami menonton berita CNN.."kenapa orang yang mengaku dirinya Islam, bertindak membunuh orang tanpa belas kasihan dan meletupkan diri nya? Bukan ke bunuh diri itu berdosa?" Aku mengambil masa untuk memberi penjelasan kepadanya tentang orang yang bersikap ekstrem & yang terpesong dengan pegangannya. Sama ada dia faham atau tidak...aku tak pasti. Apa yang buat aku terpikir, anak bujang ku itu baru sahaja 9 tahun & dia memerhatikan dunia sekelilingnya sekarang dan ianya bukan lagi sekadar persekitarannya tapi jauh ke dunia luar. Dia mendengar berita, cerita dan ungkapan asing yang bukan lagi dalam kawalan ku.

Jadi, apa yang penting, apa yang boleh aku kawal adalah asas pegangannya. Aku perlu bina prinsip anak-anakku agar dia bijak memilih jalan untuknya sendiri. Dia perlu mempelajari dari kesilapannya dan bertanggung jawab ke atasnya.

Kepimpinan bukan sekadar mengarah, menunjuk jalan dan mengharap orang bimbingan kita mengikuti arahan itu. Tapi kepimpinan perlu datang dengan sifat belas dan keupayaan untuk memberi contoh. Kejayaan bukan perlu di puji atau diber penghormatan. Bagi ku, biarlah perlakuan baik yang kita tonjolkan menjadi inspirasi kepada mereka menjadi lebih baik.

A boy, an old man & a camel

2010-05-14T14:37:00.000+08:00

*Once upon a time, there were a boy and his elderly father walking on the dessert carrying their goods on their shoulder. While walking, they found a camel with no master. They decided to take the camel and make used of the animal to carry those goods. Not long after that, they bumped into a stranger that gave a remark to them “why do you only put the goods on top of the camel, and allow the poor child to walk on his own? Thus they decided to have the goods and the boy to be on top of the camel. They continued their journey. Along the way the met a different stranger, this man saw them and started to say “why is the camel carrying the goods & the boy, when you as an old man deserved to be carried instead?” Listening to this man’s suggestion, the father replaced his son riding on the camel along with their goods.” Half way through, a different stranger saw and said to them “shouldn’t you allow the poor little boy to ride the camel?” Agreeing to this, the father came down from the camel and let the boy to ride on it instead. (Kesian..penat unta tuuu….) but not long after that, another stranger commented to them “The young boy should give way to the elderly, why don’t you ride the camel and not the boy?” Upon hearing this, again they swap places; having the father to ride the camel with the goods & the boy walking behind them.
After a while, they decided themselves to both ride the camel with the goods instead. While riding, they met a different guy who greeted them; he said “That poor camel, with you both & the goods on top of it.” The father & the son were puzzled, nothing seemed to be right in whatever decision they made, different people would give different feedback to them. So what should be the right way then???
Moral of the story: you can’t always follow what people say, you would end up exhausting yourself & swarm with confusions; plus you are killing that poor camel, nobody wants to carry the camel!!

Something to ponder about:
1. When should you then ask for opinions & suggestions for your problems/conditions?
2. Should you listen & follow suggestions given?
3. How do you evaluate all different opinions given?
4. Should you just ignore what people says about you and do whatever that you feel best & right for you? But what if what you feel is not justifiable to be the best decision? Then shouldn’t you get other people’s suggestion or opinion to benchmark? –go back to point 1.

maizikeem’s note: It’s true that you can’t always follow blindly on what people tell you to do because they are not in your shoes. They are just a bystander who has an opinion over a surface observation. BUT you don’t live alone, you can’t avoid feedback or comments. Personally, I would say you need a little bit of both; be selective in sharing and to whom you are sharing it with. But how about unavoidable comments that was given to you without being asked? “If I were you, I would…” or “you should do this way instead…” or “I strongly feel that you have made a mistake…” How do you manage that? Well there’s always this saying “take it with a pinch of salt”. At the end of the day, formulate all the inputs, digest if you may, absorb it if YOU feel it’s worth it, spit it out if it’s irrelevant & un-applicable.
It’s all about you.

story was told by my daughter Maira one day. It was shared by her ustazah during her mangaji lesson last week..

Words of wisdom

2010-05-13T16:10:00.000+08:00

Occasionally I would reflect back on some of the meaningful words of wisdom by my parents. Some are funny, some are pedas but most of them have deeper meanings. Perhaps it didn’t render me much during that time but merely a conversation we had during tea, late nite talk on their bed or once in a while when we were driving together; at times there were reflections of their thoughts when we were talking about nothing & everything.

· One of the famous “advice” given by ayah…”To be an average person, anyone can be that, but to be the best; you need to take your breakfast!” – hahhahhahaa…we would laughed if off cos’ ayah being a discipline person in his food consumption he constantly reminded us to never skip our meal especially our breakfast. “It’s the most important meal of the day.” He would add. Ah! Why does it take 30 years for me to truly understand & appreciate this!!!

· “Got money why not…No money cannottttt!!”….ibu’s famous quote every time we talked about money & stuff that you would like to do. I freely share her words of wisdom to my office mate every time we mentioned about shopping and stuff that we would like to buy…

· Ibu will always feel ayah is the smartest man she knows. Taking into credit that he has Masters and had evidently proven to everyone that he was no kutu tembok!! But anytime of the day if she felt cornered by stupidity she would go “I may not be educated, no ijazah bergulung-gulung but I am no fool; not a bloody fool to you!!” - Take out from this: You don’t have to have formal education with high achievement to survive, AND I AM NOT AN IDIOT!!

· “Don’t let other people made a sucker out of you!!!” Ayah warned me when I learn the hard way that not all people are nice.

· There was one occasion that I was picked pocket while shopping at the mall (this was 25 years ago)…”Tulah, pegi masuk kedai macam orang jakun, mulut dok nganga jeee…mana tak kena!” ayah said, so much for comfort words eh?

· Ayah’s advice on parenthood: “It’s important to raise the children not only to be smart in the head (book smart), but they also need to be street smart; survivor & emotionally smart – kena ada self control, kena pandai kawal their emotions.”

· Ibu’s advice on parenthood: “Bila dah tua-tua nie, baru kita sedar jaga anak-anak nie susah. Tak semua yang kita buat masa tu hasilnya berkesan (turn out to be as good as you expected). Ada benda-benda yang ibu wish ibu buat differently. Apa-apa kena banyak berdoa, anak jadi lembut hati dan ingat mana yang penting dalam hidup.”

· When I failed to get good grades, ayah would snapped”You are not stupid, it’s just you didn’t get your priority straight!!” 1st lesson on Project Management: Prioritize your responsibilities & deliverables :P

· “I have selective memories, I don’t choose to remember things that are too petty” ayah would say when ibu & I start talking about long ago stories.

· “You guys are lucky to have ibu ayah to remind you all. I am telling you the things that I regretted not doing then so that you don’t make the same mistakes I made…”ibu reminiscing when ever she start her I TOLD YOU SO story.

· One evening when ibu was warded at IJN “You see, ibu dapat penyakit jantung ni because 30 years of stress and sakit hati dengan ayah”…then ayah responded “ayah pun jadi pekak sebelah telinga pasal asyik dok dengar ibu membebel for the past 30 years!!!” – the actual fact I would define these words are: We had the best 30 years of our life, for goodness & badness; in sickness and in health…

I love my ayah and I love my ibu!! They are the pillar of my strength, my source of wisdom and my life savior (when I am on my business trips! Cos they would jump to the rescue every time I need the extra help with my kids!!)

Patience is a virtue

2010-05-12T14:32:00.000+08:00

Patience is a virtue because it makes us better people. The definition of the word is to tolerate delay. This implies self control and forbearance as opposed to wanting what we want when we want it. How many times have we jumped the gun and found out it would have been better to tolerate delay or had self control? What did we miss out on? Did we hurt someone we love because of lack of patience? Having patience will heal the wounds and it will work itself out fine. Patience is not only a virtue but a necessity for a happy existence…(http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_is_patience_a_virtue) - I GooGLED this!

Key word to remember : SELF CONTROL. Easier said than done, but nevertheless possible. I am not a patient person or was not actually. I hate delays, I despise people who do not respect efficiency. I prefer to be timely, I am somewhat a control freak but not crazy control but I do want things to be in order, pre-plan, expected and organized. Then GOD gave me Haris…who challenge me with spontaneity, un-plan, uncontrol, short term; the doing “nothing as something” guy. You can’t have it all but thank goodness he is hygienic! The 1st few lessons I learn in my marriage is tolerance & patience. Ultimately the used to be hard headed, loud mouth & bold person I was becoming more lemau each year. With him you can never win an argument, you can be twice louder and bolder but you won’t get the message across because he won’t back down, he won’t get down to his knees and say “I’m sorry, you are right dear”…he won’t come home with flowers in his hand and admit his defeat. 10 years, only once at the early of our courting I received a bouquet of flowers from him cos we had a big argument and that was the last. Instead, I learn to read him. I learn to accept who he is, his flaws and his way of thinking. I learn to be patient, in return I will eventually get my way (most of the time). With me holding back with some tolerance admission, he starts to listen and to the very least try to understand my point of view. Give it another freeze moment, we communicate again. At times I just let it go, I don’t win this time round but out of self control I came back to my ground and let it passed me. Once I’m OK he’ll be OK…

My kids tested my patience practically every day. I have 3 to count. It’s like this tag game they play that each one will take turn to see how far they can test me. Almost all the time, I end up screaming on top of my lungs…They’d probably go “Oh! Look!! You did it…You succeed to make a Tarzan out of ibu!!”…I hold back my hands to avoid slapping their butt! They hid (or threw) my cane God knows where..and I can’t find it. So now I resume to “Go to your room before I naik hantu!!” Sometime it work, at times…the whining will just go on and on until one of us grew tired. Last night was Hazrik’s turn, he whine about being hungry even though he just had 2 bowls of nasi goreng…there were plenty of food on the table & in the kitchen but NOOOOOOOOOOOO….he doesn’t want any of those; what he is implying actually “I want that MAGGI MEE that you hide in the upper cabinet.” I ignore him for a while, later I ask him to go to his room. He dozed off quietly but resumed again this morning. Then the tag begin - Maira was looking for her homework, couldn’t find it…face all red, frowning and almost teared up. “Ibu gotta go to work now Mai…but takpe, lemme help you find it.” Running out of time, we decided to make a copy from her friend later tonite…by the time I was ready to head off, Keem was awake from sleep. His usually default mode when he wakes up was crying and this time decided not to let me go. Clinging on to me with his smelly diapers, he didn’t want to be handed to Yani the maid. I was late for work, give myself another 10mins to attend to him then I decided to go. This will never stop I feel.

From then till now, I suck my whole day in. I am very proud of myself actually. From last night, I did not scream or yell at my kids, no spanking no face turn red and running around like my butt is on fire. I was cool, calm & collective. I deal with the whining (or I think it’s more of avoiding the whining), I manage Maira’s morning drama better than my usual ways. I make it up to Keem after work. Before you know it, things were back to *normal (*depend on individual definition of normal) – everyone were calm and to their usual self again.

I remember reading an email that was sent to me couple weeks back, which reminded me on the subject matter of Self Control. You decide on how to react on the situation you are in. Your day and your view to yourself will depend on how you make of it – You definitely have no control on what will happen to you on that day; your kids’ tantrum, your spouse’s mood swing, your workload, the office politics, the traffic, the maid, the neighbor, the weather, the un-plan business trip. Like today – I choose to be positive even though my kids are driving me up the wall. And the other day I hold back my disappointment when Haris doesn’t seem to get it instead I waited patiently to choose the right time and different angle to discuss our differences. And couple days ago…I avoided a rude confrontation with useless colleagues (and dealt with it when I can think straight). I motivate myself to try different means if this one fails & to be more compassionate with my words to the people around me. Patience is a virtue, so they say…and I couldn’t agree more.

Happy Mothers’ Day to all the Mothers in the world

2010-05-11T15:56:00.001+08:00

Mothers’ Day weekend was celebrated without me realizing it. It was the weekend that Haris needed to be at the MidValley roadshow. We have been planning to watch Iron Man2, and I was ambitious enough to take Keem along. Was I crazy? YES I was. But let me tell you that it was worth it. Haris couldn’t join but he didn’t intend to anyhow (all this super hero bulls@#% is not hit movie thing…what ever la!) But Jik & Mai were so excited about it! I, on the other hand…was obviously excited because RDJ was HAWT!!!
We left the GSC Cinema feeling extremely happy. We enjoyed the movie very much. I did missed out few scenes…Mai had to take a break to the loo 3 times and there were several times I had to watch the movie from the stairs area cos Keem was restless, and making some slight fuss (he talked and laugh very loudly, couldn’t tell him to shhh up can I???)…But it’s OK, I follow through the story line, I did not miss the important scene. I do like the 1st Iron Man though but this one was equally enjoyable.
We met Haris after the movie and went for our lunch at “Chillis” – had my piece of steak finally hehehee…Didn’t do any shopping (but was very tempted). It was time for Keem’s nap, by then we were heading home. As usual Fed Highway was jammed, had a short nap in the car with Keem on my lap. Later in the afternoon it was family doing “nothing” moment. Haris with his car, Jik was with hi PS2, Keem & Mai goofing around in front of the TV while making a mess…I finally got hold of the vacuum cleaner and cleaning away the dust under the bed! Pasta for dinner, Haris cook.
What a wonderful Saturday it was, with no plans for Sunday except the usual groceries shopping in mind.
P/S Mai & Jik handed me a corny plastic rose when they got back from school that Monday with a kiss on the cheek and a hug. I love my kids, I love being a mom and I love my mom!! Happy Mothers’ Day to all the Mothers in the world.

The Ups & Downs...

2010-05-11T15:30:00.000+08:00

I am very disappointed with myself! I have been vigorously working out, watching out what I eat, monitor the calories…but the results are very minimal! So now I switch my work out activities, stop weight lifting for a while & increase my cardio from 30mins to an hour. So we’ll see how this turn out to be in couple of months. Dare not check my body fat…last March it was 28%...now???
Our body is so complex, that there is no single formula that you could maintain. Recommendations by others may not necessarily be as effective unto you. Yes, the basic fundamental of exercising plus proportionate eating are key…but it’s not just that I realized. The more I read and try to understand, it become more complicated. It’s not just the calories intake vs calorie burn or is it fat burn…which ever it is. Then it’s not just the food you eat, the amount of food you eat and when you eat it….ayoooo why la so susah????
Then it’s the age thing. You can’t blame post pregnancy anymore. I can’t use that excuses anymore; it’s been 2 years now. Yes there were some positive changes for me. Right after the pregnancy I had to buy myself a new pair of jeans (mind I say Ms Read brand)…can’t even fit into my old pre pregnancy jeans. Then after a watchful diet and visits to the gym, weight wise very few pounds been sheds off but I started to realized the jeans were too loose for me (OK good sign then) – so I was so motivated I increase my work out session. I started to do some more reading…all pump up to go to gym – geared up to sheds off more fats. But it’s not as easy as it seems. There are some UP moments where an hour of work out seems to be too short. But there are times of DOWN moments. That u felt like you are dragging yourself; in your head you seemed to be fighting against the lazy demon in you. You finding excuses but felt too guilty not to…since you’ve got the time.
Now, my mood swing all time low…the last time I hit the gym was 3 days ago and I have not compensate that with the “after work jog” at the Cyberjaya lake (ah! It’s been raining almost all afternoon excuse). I still watch out my food though…surely that doesn’t really help much. Need to sweat, need to burn fat, need to build muscle, need to trim down, need to tone, Need to drive my motivation back again…Need the nice BBQ ribs…and chocolate shake and mud pie…eh…what happen???

The Good, The Ugly & The Stress

2010-01-21T16:22:00.000+08:00

Try juggling a marriage, a job, a maid & 3 kids?

I think almost everyday I drive to work, my heart pump so fast and I would sweat so much I shoudn't even bother applying any makeup in the 1st place! This is not because I am so excited to go to work, but more so having to deal with either one of my older children's atttude, at the same time making sure they have enough money to bring to their school, the helper have the menu to prepare for the kids...they are having their breakfast, homework done, school books are updated according to schedule, anything to buy on my way from work later that afternoon, anything else that I missed....By the time I get to work, I am so exhausted!!! Oh, I'm late for meeting..have to stay focus but my mind is still at home!

The good thing about having kids:
-They are the love of your life
-They bring so much joy
-They make your life complete
-They are the evidence of true love
-They are the reason you strive so much for money, you want the best for them
-They motivate you to become a better person, to become an example, an idol
-They are part of you

The Ugly:
-When they can't take NO for an answer
-When you old fragile possesion broke, lost, wasted or God knows what else
-When u realized you are loosing your sanity when dealing with their homeworks & excuses
-When silence is a strange word
-When the remote is in their hands
-When your weekend is full of driving the kids around for their swimming lesson, tae kwan do,music class...
-When they favour instant noodles more than any healthy food that you are willing to provide

The Stress:
-Your maid owning a mobile phone (urgh! that endless phone calls!!)
-Your maid start to have Uncles, male cousins around..when you know he's the boyfriend
-Your 6 years old memorize your mobile phone number and would call you 7 times a day just to whine!
-You constantly need to check your 8 years old's homework
-Your husband don't look at you the same way he used to..eh wait, he stop looking actually...
-Measuring your weights and realized it doesn't shift much...!! Damn!
-The passion to do work is lesser each day!

What a life this is!!

Lepak lagi...

2010-01-14T21:54:00.000+08:00

Picture taken few months back, similar sentiments then; was having a lazy afternoon with the kids.

It's Thursday night, Jik & Mai just got back from their KUMON. Had dinner with Hakeem & Ayah Hakeem outside. The sup daging was dissappointing, why la susah sangat nak dapat sup yang sedap.

Work show very little progress. I have not been very proactive and early week I am still in my lazy mood - even the 2nd round of black coffee in the office didn't help. Taking it one day at a time, but I think I prolong this long enough. Need to pick up the pace. Just when I am about to start the engine, just realized tomorrow is Friday; THANK GOD! then maybe I jump start my mood next week..hehhehe buleh??

Macam-macamlah Hakeem nie...

2010-01-12T21:39:00.000+08:00

Semalam Hakeem moody. Serba tak kena, dan dah pandai tunjuk marah. Kalau dulu dia lepaskan geram, dia melalak tapi mudah di pujuk kalau kita beralah dan ikut kehendak dia. Tapi kali nie dia dah pandai menghentak-hentak kaki di lantai, tak makan pujuk. Tak sudah takat tu…dia akan campak apa-apa aje yang dapat dia pegang (nasib baik la ibunya tak letak pasu bunga merata-rata dan tak punya mangkok kristal!) Payah pula nak pujuk buntat ibu kali nie. Penat kita menahan sabar dan cuba menenangkan dia. Umur belum pun cecah 2 tahun, tapi dah pandai menduga kesabaran kita. Kadang-kadang tu, tergelak juga kita melihat karenah dia mengajuk kita pabila dia memarahi abang & kakaknya; dengan jari menunjuk-nunjuk ke muka mereka sambile menjerit ”iam! Arah ni!) (diam! Tengah marah ni!) Cute le sangat! Tapi tak boleh dibiarkan, kalau kita gelakkan nanti dia ingat kita OK kan aje perlakuannya. Tapi bila kita menegur ”keem…tak baik marah abang jik. Kenapa garang sangat ni?”…habis kita pulak yang disuruhnya diam! Lak gitu?

Seronok hidup nie bila ada Hakeem (bukannya kami kurang seronok sebelum dia). Cuma memang tak expect dengan adanya tambahan yang tak diduga, hidup kami sekeluarga bertambah ceria.
Ayah Hakeem memula tu terkejut beruk bila kita sedar ada kemungkinan yang kita nie mungkin mengandung lagi. Masa tu period dah lewat seminggu. Walaupun rasa tak percaya, jauh di sudut hati memang excited teramat kerana tak sangka nak tambah zuriat lagi…Nie gara-gara kerap tengok rancagan ASTRO family & health tu la. Everytime kisah orang bersalin, dapat baby…hati berdetik ”what if…we try again” Since Maira dah nak masuk 4 tahun. Ayah Hakeem geleng kepala…”alah..kita kan OK..anak sepasang, one boy one girl. Nak travel senang, nak pegi holiday dah ringkas. No more pampers, no more sleepless nights (macam la ayah Hakeem bangun lewat malam buat susu anak & tukar diapers?)” So setiap kali kita bergurau pasal baby, dia buat tak layan. Alamat malam tu dia tak tido sebelah..hehehe takut kena kacau! Bila sah dapat tahu memang kita expecting, 2 minggu ayah Hakeem jadi moody (mungkin kebetulan banyak kijer masa tuuuuu kot) tapi dia macam gitu-gitu aje dengan kita. Tak macam time Hazrik dulu, dapat tahu kami berpeluk sambil melompat-lompat macam budak sekolah dapat pensil color baru. Time Maira kami siap jemaah sujud syukur kerana masa tu memang kami mencuba nak dapat baby. Bila nie pulak, ayah Hakeem suruh kita test lagi untuk pastikan. Memula tu rasa tak seronok kerana dia macam kurang seronok. Tapi lelama kita diamkan aje, pasal dalam hati masa tu Tuhan saje yang tahu betapa gembiranya hati rasa macam nak meletup…so lantaklah dia nak happy ke tidak. Kita call ibu malam tu jugak…alhamdulillah kata ibu, bertambah cucu dia. Ayah Hakeem? Dia finally buat announcement dalam email kepada adik-beradik dia..tu pun nak masuk 2 minggu lepas confirm kita pregnant.
Jadi nak taknak bila dah confirm pregnant ayah Hakeem tunjuk jugak le support walaupun tak beriya macam yang pertama sekali, tapi sekurang-kurangnya dia masih urut belakang kita malam-malam bila kita complain sakit pinggang. Kadang kala, perhatian dia agak kurang pada kita, jadi time tu la…meluap-luap rasa sedey; sensitip le gamaknyeee…Tapi takpe…
Pengalaman berbeza-beza. Time mengandungkan Hakeem kita complain memanjang pasal sakit pinggang la, tak dapat tido la…selera kureng, stretch mark menjadi-jadi..macam-macam. Pemutusnya bila sampai waktu cukup tempoh, kita tak tunggu sampai sakit. Cukup aje waktu, kita tentukan bila nak bersalin. Bersalin secara normal di sebuah klinik Shah Alam, ayah Hakeem ada masa tu. Tapi kami dah bincang awal, bila betul-betul baby nak keluar dia pun nak keluar bilik bersalin tu pasal dia kata dia tak tahan tengok kita sakit. Dia kata macam nak pitam..hehehee…macho sungguh :P. Tapi ntah macam mana ntah, pasal bilik tu sempit sikit dia tak dapat laluan nak keluar (yang doktor tu pulak dok hadang jalan dia). Bila dia cuba nak excuse kan diri, doktor tu siap tanya ”You nak ke mana???” heheheh terus tak jadi..might as well dongak atas siling pegang tangan kita, tahan ajelah..
Sakit tak lama, kurang 5 jam Hakeem selamat keluar. Macam nak mati rasanya, dengan tak guna drug or even epidural…kita menahan sakit. Kalau dok piki2-pikirkan lah…boleh masih terasa lagi perasaan masa tu.
Hakeem nampak bulat (Ya Allah! Macam mana lah baby sebesar tu boleh keluar dari tempat yang sekecil nie?? Hehehhehe) Alhamdulillah sihat & sempurna. Macam tak percaya bila masa time tu jugak doktor letak dia atas dada, dengan berdarah-darah & ada benda-benda putih melekat-lekat kat muka dia eeee…..kita terus cium dia. Sakit tu terus rasa hilang…macam tak pernah wujud. Ayah Hakeem tergamam, sampai doktor kena teriak kat dia minta dia guntingkan pusat. Senyap-senyap dia sapu air mata dia…dok cium baby Hakeem yang masih terpinga-pinga lepas puas melalak tadi. Diam tak diam, kita tahu, dia dah jatuh cinta kat baby Hakeem.
Sekarang, Hakeem la pengarang jantung kami sekeluarga, buat kami gelak dengan keletahnya yang ntah apa-apa! Ayah Hakeem terlebihlah over dia dengan Hakeem nie..mungkin dah ada experience, Hakeem lebih dipegang & dibelai. Kalau masa Hazrik & Maira, dia tunggu sampai dah lebih 6 bulan baru berani..katanya terlalu kecil dan halus..laaaa....
Siapa sangka kan sesuatu yang tak dijangka boleh jadi pelengkap yang kami perlukan selama nie…

Lepas ni, apa lagi Hakeem?

The hands & the legs

2010-01-12T13:37:00.000+08:00

Middle child syndrome

2010-01-12T00:39:00.000+08:00

Middle child syndrome is a coomon symptom felt by a child that is born in between two or more siblings. Common feelings such as feeling neglected, unloved, left out, easily forgotten and unfair treatment are some common sentiment felt by this child. I am a middle child in my family; born in between an elder sister by a year and a younger brother of 5 years. So you can see, I've always felt neglected by the fact that I wasn'st special enough as compared to my eldest smart sister (now a proud MD in a local hospital) and a younger brother which happened to be the only son that my father long to have. So through out my teenage life, I was deviant, most of the time against my parents' approval and mostly got my dad's attention for being the difficult one!

This is not about me, but I started to identify the same reactions & response I get from my only 6 years old daughter. She constantly envy her elder brother if I pay slightly more attention to him and certainly become agitated if I occupied my time with her little brother. She constantly repeat the same thing over & over again..of how much I don't care about her, I love the brothers more than I love her...I spend more time with her baby brother...I am nice to the elder brother..the whinning never stops when ever she felt...neglected.

Recognizing these symptoms, I have tried my very best to overcome this. I constantly give her the assurance that the feelings she has, was merely an outburst of bias feelings and it is a way of her to "get even" to me by saying things that would hurt me. I told her I love her and how special she is to me, since she's the ONLY girl I have. That we would be the best of friend when she's all grown up since by then we could share a lot of things and do a lot of things together. I told her this all the time. Sometime I get frustrated with the constant accusation and I cannot help feeling annoyed by her silly tantrum. Few times I lost my composure and I end up walking away feeling defeated. I know my behaviour would not make her feelings any better...to the very least I do recognize her insecurity and I realized that I need to acknowledge it.
So after a while, after I have cooled off, I would walk to her again...while she whimpering at a corner feeling all drain with sadness and unloved. I would sat across her, and put my hands onto hers; look into her eyes.."I am sorry you feel this way. I am truly sorry that what ever I say or do, I couldn't make you feel otherwise. I know you are feeling left out. But there is no way I feel less love for you despite of me spending my time with your brothers. I never in any way ever said I dont' love you or I never care about you at all..and you know that." By then she starts to nod and say how sorry she was for being difficult. She knows by then that what ever the feelings she had was not true...By then I realized that perhaps it's not the reassurance that she need but simply a feeling that I did not give up on her.

We hug and we kiss and we hold hands while walking to the kitchen to get ourselves a bowl of ice-cream. So today, I won the battle...and I know that it will not be our last fight. There will be more to come..sigh. But at least for now after a bowl of ice-cream, I'm just glad she is smiling again. Well at least for now..

Blogging away

2010-01-09T19:35:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I last blog..Now, since I miss it so much, I start to think "heck, why not!" It would be a superb thing to get connected with my friends again. At least now they would be able to know what's my latest update & what's going on with me (if they're interested).

My blogging journey started as in 1997 when back then when I was working in a research unit in a telco company. Looking back as some of my old post, some made me smile, some are utter rubbish, few reminded me of my sad moment...It was safe yet it validate how I feel then.

Recently I viewed some of the blogs of strangers, some are pretty interesting. I realized the pattern. People blog about things that they know best or they love best. Most woman (not all)tend to blog about their kids & how much they love their "hubbies". Most men, I reckon blog about their passion - gadgets, cars, hobbies, travel...movies blah blah blah...didn't come across on those who blog about their woman; hemm...I wonder why? Is it because I didn't come across on one? Or it is a very rare concept for man?? Other than that, blog is for them to advertise their business, that's a good start!

One blog intrigue me. She blog just about anything under the sun that revolves around her. Which is fine not until the blog started to used extremely harsh words...cursing a certain individual that she obviously despise so much. Obviously, we can easily see this person used to have history with her and now they don't but she ramained bitter even though she now claimed to be extremely happy with her life. Well, I don't intend to talk about her here (wouldn't want her to start cursing me openly in my space, is she realized that she's the topic in my post). But I realized that sometime, we can get carried away with our writing. She's not the only case here. One blogger, that I don't personally know complain about her daily mishap, fight with the husband, his shortfall, his laziness blah blah blah...Then a different blogger complain about her idiotic co-worker; apparently they are not as smart as he/she is (OK won't identify gender here)...True enough, blogging is a platform to express you inner thoughts & feelings. But I don't know about this man; especially when you use this format to document those feelings and announce it to the world. Even worst, the word you choose in you post don't quite reflect the kind of person you are publicly..errr....for example you appear to be this shy, humble, soft spoken person but cursed and openly condemn a person you know in your blog. Hemm...that doesn't jive does it?

Am I being true to my thoughts and do I believe in my writing? Hell yeah! But I do hope I don't offend anyone, it's just me blogging away...