Kecewa

Bila dah menaruh harapan, walaupun tak berapa tinggi...kita tetap terasa kecewa bila apa yang diharap tak menjadi. Hari ni I was a bit down..terasa sedikit kecewa. I terima a followe up call dari seseorang ni menyatakan yang profile I will only be 'KIV'...since they reviewed me to be relevant BUT there are several candidates with heavier weights in terms of experience" In other words I will only be considered if the rest turn out otherwise...Ini bukan persoalan tak dapat kerja...cuma rasa kecewa kerana profile I tak dapat nak impress diorang. Bila tengok JD bukannya work task tu I tak boleh buat..if only they talk to me in person and see whether I have what it takes...

Backtrack sikit....2 minggu lepas tanpa diduga I dapat phone call from a head hunter. Berborak sampai sejam...dia minta I email CV I kat dia. At 1st bila tengok job description tu...memanglah terasa amat terujanya..cos for the 1st time I thought...inilah peluang ku untuk nak pegang jawatan ketua unit! Wah! Hebatnya! Seronoknya! Yang pasti gajinya tentulah best...untung badan...rezeki anak beranak I dok pikir...Syiokla kalau kali nie dapat le berbelanja lebih & dapat jugak buat simpanan. Sebetulnya bukanlah I terdesak nak pindah kerja...tempat I berkeja nie kira OKlah jugak. Cuma sejak-sejak kebelakangan ni bila HQ office kat Norway melalui re-org macam-macam perubahan berlaku, termasuklah portfolio we all. I frust jugak bila rasa new direction nie tak sesuai dengan keinginan peribadi..rasanya experience I yang 12 tahun nie takde value nya...but then again...nak mengubat perasaan I dok pikir jugak..maybe it's good also nalk belajar benda baru. Expand kan pengetahuan nie dan cuba perbaiki diri kearah yang lebih positif :). On the other side of it...I still rasa yang I perlukan options.

Anyway, hidup tak selalu senang. tak semua yang kita nak...kita boleh dapat. Kekadang kita rasa seronok kalau setiap kali nasib menyebelahi diri. Tapi bila hajat tak kesampaian, impian tak menjadi kenyataan...jodoh tak panjang..kita berasa teramatlah hampa & kecewa. So, masa tulah ujian terbesar bagi kita hanyalah bergantung kepada cara kita mengharunginya. Kuat ke semangat kita? Teguh ke kesabaran kita? Cekal ke hati kita? Tebal ke iman kita? Atau kita persoalkan nasib malang yang menimpa?...dan blame benda-benda lain yang menyebabkan kita gagal.

So kali nie..macam waktu-waktu dulu bila terasa kecewa..I told myself "it's not my time yet..it's not my rezeki..it was not meant to be because things happen for a reason." Dan mungkin ada hikmah disebalik kekecewaan I hari ni...Like back then bila putus kasih, kita dok pikir penat aje bercinta & berusaha bila ketentuan tuhan jodoh kita tiada dengan si dia. Tapi Allah itu maha mengetahui...setiap kegagalan & kehampaan yang dia turunkan pada kita ada lah ujian, dan kalau kita bersyukur dan tak patah semangat insyallah ada lagi yang lebih baik sebenarnya untuk kita ...


Kalau bukan rezeki...terima sajalah Aida...

4 days, 3 nights in Bangkok

I am attending Device gathering in Bangkok organised by my company. Took MAS flight, 2.05 hours of journer, no entertainment what so ever (no screen TV, no radio no nothing!) and the food was AWFUL! I chosed some sort of a flat noodles & black peppered beef. Honestly cold maggi mee taste a whole lot better! Twas a dissapointing experience!

Arrived at the Suvarnabhumi Airport yesterday afternoon 5pm. Weather was humid, rained a bit. Decided to take the public transportation because I had a feeling the traffic was bad & congested, it would take me more than an hour just to get to the hotel. So the train was a good option, several switching from train to monorail and a bit of a walk I reached to Sheraton hotel. It was a pretty good walk, I reckon I burned some calories along the way. But it was worth it, had a good glimpse of Bangkok after office hours, traffic was building up (not an unusual site since KL is no different at all!).

Just complete the 1st day of the conference...it was good. Met familiar Norwegian faces & make new friends from Pakistan and Thailand. Had a group dinner, Tom yam again but tonite was better than yesterday. It was at one of the impressive fusion restaurant but I am still hungry now cos' didn't had much then. Rice came later, tom yam was an appetizer...too shy to take too many mango & sticky rice dessert. But can't have much cos' they were serving duck and liver..and some beef stuff that obviously I couldn't touch. Fusion is not my thing though, the soft shell crabs doesn't taste as good as I expected...Anyhow it's all part of the experience.

Looking forward for tomorrow, hopefully another inspiring & fruitful event. I miss the kids..Thank God ibu ayah jumped in to fill up the gap! Feeling slightly bad cos' when I left the 3 kids are down with cough & flu. I know this is pretty taxing for ibu ayah..and haris...but don't worry kids, ibu coming home soon and I promise, I will make it up to you guys!

Sawadikap!