Cakap-cakap pedas

Pelik ye orang yang tak heran dengan undang-undang, tak bimbang dengan hukuman dunia & akhirat. Aku bukan berniat nak berkhutbah dan bukan nak berbahas macam orang yang tinggi ilmu agama atau ahli politik berwibawa, aku sedar...tahap kelemahan aku sendiri. Kalau nak dibandingkan ilmu yang aku ada dengan orang-orang lain, mungkin juga aku tak layak nak bercakap lebih-lebih isu bersangkut paut dengan agama atau ekonomi atau politik nie. Tapi aku rasa kan, walaupun aku nie bukan ustazah atau doktor falsafah sekurang-kurangnya aku sedar & paham apa dia dosa & pahala; yang salah & yang betul.

Bercakap pasal dosa & pahala nie, aku rasa semua orang alim ke tidak, paham benar apa yang menyebabkan orang tu berdosa & orang tu dapat pahala..tu semua dia ajar kita sejak kecik lagi. "Jangan pukul adik, berdosa" Jangan menjawab dengan orang tua, berdosa" "dapat pahala kalau tolong orang"...Memang la soal sama ada orang tu berdosa atau tidak bukan lah kita boleh congak & main cakap jer. Nie semua ketentuan Allah. Pahala & dosa bergantung kepada Dia.

So, secara amnya, konsep pahala dosa nie simple jer...amalkan berbuat baik, hindarkan sebarang kemungkaran. Sebodoh-bodoh mengutuk, mengumpat & menfitnah orang pun dah kira perlakuan yang tak baik apakan lagi kalau orang tu mencuri, membunuh, menyebabkan orang ditimpa kesusahan atas tindak tanduk kita yang tak bertanggungjawab. Kesimpulan asas dosa pahala nie berkait dengan benda yang haram & halal. Kita dapat pahala kalau jauhkan diri dengan benda yang haram...kita berdosa sekiranya kita mendekati perkara-perkara yang haram dilakukan. Simple kan?? Tapi ada jugak saudara-saudara kita di sana bukan tak paham, tapi buat-buat tak paham.

Yang aku cuba maksudkan di sini bukanlah nak mengenakan sesiapa yang aku kenal hidup atau yang dah mati. Langsung takde. Cuma tiap kali ada aje terpapar berita tentang penyelewengan atau salah guna kuasa, aku rasa teramat musykil, kenapa orang yang berjawatan tinggi (boleh dianggap orang yang pandai pasal dia memegang jawatan & tanggunjawab yang besar) boleh tersabit melakukan perkara sebodoh itu; songlap duit ke, gila kuasa ke...Aku rasa diorang nie pun bukan tak tahu tentang betapa beratnya amanah yang diberi. Kalau tidak masakan boleh digajikan sebegitu lumayan, ye tak? Oklah, aku tak pastilah besar mana gaji diorang nie tapi kalau dah pangkat management, ketua syarikat..takkan gaji dia seciput macam aku ni. Oleh demikian, argument aku kenapa la kalau dah sah diorang berpangkat tinggi & begaji besar nak guna cara yang salah untuk menambahkan kekayaan??? Dah banyak duit, apa masalahnya? Kata ayah aku...masalah orang-orang yang seumpamanya, dia jadi tamak.
Then apa hal pulak tentang amanah? Kalau sudah dipertanggungjawabkan sesuatu kerja, dan diupah pulak tu untuk menjana amanah syarikat tapi disebaliknya ada pulak motif peribadi...mana perginya integriti dan accountabiliy (bercampur aduk la pulak bahasa ku ini)? Orang bawahan buat salah, melenting tapi kalau tuan buat salah, buat cover up?
http://www.btimes.com.my/Current_News/BTIMES/articles/20100513144613/Article/index_html
Then bercakap pulak pasal teladan melalui kepimpinan; surat khabar STAR pagi nie...bercerita pasal seorang pemimpin politik kita seorang nie (actually dia punya kes tak lah sehebat yang lain-lain yang ada...tapi sebagai contoh, konsep kepelikkannya lebih kurang sama lah!!)...
Kalau lah jawatan kita nie dah terang-terang seorang pemimpin politik "Member of the parliment, an MP" bermakna jawatan yang dia pegang nie berdasarkan kepada kepercayaan yang orang beri kepada dia. Jadi tak salahkan kalau kita labelkan dia nie seorang pemimpin. And yet, benda sebodoh-bodoh nak kawin dua pun dia boleh melanggari undang-undang...apa macam? Nak berpoligami tu tak salah, tapi malangnya kalau lah di mata masyarakat nie kita tu dianggap sebagai ikon, lebih berat lah lagi bagi seorang pemimpin itu membuat setiap keputusan yang akan dia buat; tak kira secara peribadi atau pun tidak. Orang memandang, dan pula dicontohi. Jadi setiap tindak tanduk yang dilakukan perlu ada perasaan tanggungjawab. Tak kiralah kalau masa tu, dah bercinta habis dengan isteri muda yang cantik lagi terkenal. So sebagai orang bawahan, bila tengok pemimpin kita terang-terang melanggari undang-undang, perlukah kita menghormati beliau? Ini baru kes poligami, berkahwin tanpa kebenaran mahkamah bukan lagi yang berat-berat macam kena tangkap basah, ada hubungan sulit dengan budak bawah umur, ada aktiviti porno dengan mistress...And yet mereka nie masih ada pengikut & penyokong (barua la tu)...masih nak pegang jawatan tu.

Nie lebih kurang sama la kalau kita tengok orang yang sepatutnya menegakkan keadilan undang-undang merupakan orang yang melanggarnya "law maker, law breaker!!"...Statement dari salah satu sepanduk orang yang mengecam si MP nie. http://www.thesundaily.com/article.cfm?id=46929

Yang lagi satu nie pun, satu topik yang sungguh menarik. Macam cerita hindustan la...Kita semua dah maklum hukum alam kan?? Yang dia atas tak akan selalu berada dia atas; unless kita percaya pada hukum kasta la. Kalau kau dilahirkan di dalam kasta terendah sekali, maka kau tergolong daripada mereka yang tak berkemampuan, tak berpeluang dan tak kemana. Vice versa; kalau kau dilahirkan dalam golongan orang yang berada chances are hidup kau akan sentiasa senang, sure pegang jawatan tinggi, berpelajaran...

Tapi tak semua orang yang sekarangnya senang & mewah dulu dilahirkan dalam keluarga yang berada. Ada jugak sesetengah pemimpin kita nie datangnya dari golongan orang-orang biasa aje. Diorang bekerja keras, berwibawa dan mempunyai kepimpinan yang diperlukan. Tapi...persoalannya bukan sama ada mereka layak memegang jawatan tu atau tidak; yang penting adakah beliau menjalankan tanggunjawab yang telah diamanahkan. Adakah dia masih relevan? Dah tentu majoriti memilihnya kerana semua orang percaya kepadanya. Mereka mahukan ketua yang dapat membela nasib mereka dan mewakili suara mereka. TETAPI, manusia kalau dah manusia la katakan tak semua yang dilakukan sempurna. Ada la terkadang tersilap sana sini...tapi kalau dah pegang jawatan tu terlalu lama kesilapan yang sikit-sikit akan nampak banyak. Tu pendapat aku. Aku tak kata seseorang yang pegang jawatan tertinggi atau ahli politik ni tak boleh buat silap langsung, tu kena tengok kepada jenis & tahap kesilapannya jugak...tak boleh la pemimpin yang berkempen membenteras korupsi end up jadi orang yang corrupted pulak!

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/5/20/nation/6297339&sec=nati

Walaupun kebanyakkan orang yang macam aku nie, duduk atas pagar kerana keliru dengan apa yang ada terpapar di luar sana. Yang sini kata begini, yang sana bangkang sebegitu...kekadang tu tak tahu mana yang betul mana yang tidak. Tapi aku tak boleh nak elakkan diri nie memberi pendapat walaupun sekadar di dalam blog yang tak seberapa ini. Banyak lagi masalah-masalah besar. Ramai lagi orang-orang yang tak bernasib baik perlukan pembelaan. Masih ada lagi isu keselamatan; masih lagi ada kemiskinan. Wakil rakyat turun padang bila nak berkempen, bila ada pilihanraya atau bila sesuatu malapetaka berlaku - keluar dalam berita...baru la datang menjenguk. Aku tak puas hati...

Tatkala mata melihat & telinga mendengar

Semalam anakku Hakeem meniru satu gelagat yang ingin aku kongsi bersama di dalam blog ini. Semasa Haris bersiap sedia untuk bersolat isyak, dia membentangkan sejadahnya dia atas lantai. Selepas itu dia ke bilik air seketika. Hakeem yang pada mulanya sedang elok bermain-main seorang diri dia atas tilam pergi ke sejadah dan berdiri di atasnya. Aku sedang leka dengan laptop ku, menoleh ke arahnya dan terpegun dengan keletahnya. Dia memandang aku lalu berkata "tim abar" (Keem Allahuakhbar)...memahami maksudnya aku mengangguk dan berkata "OK, Hakkem nak sembahyang ye?"...dia menjawab "ah"...mengiyakan pertanyaanku. Aku memanggil Haris. Kami melihat perlakuannya bersama. Memulakan dengan mengangkat tangannya dia terus meniarap di atas sejadah itu dan melaungkan Allahuakhbar dengan pelatnya. Kemudian dia duduk dan terus berkata amin dan menyapu mukanya dengan kedua-dua tangannya.

Bayangkanlah, seusia 2 tahun dia mengajuk perlakuan ayahnya ketika bersembahyang. Tak sempurna, tetapi konsep melakukan solat itu padanya bukanlah sesuatu yang ganjil.

Ini membuktikan bahawa, anak-anak memerhati perlakuan kita; buruk & baik. Mereka mengajuk perlakuan kita walaupun tidak memahami sepenuhnya.

Ini mengingakan aku kembali tentang seseorang semasa aku berusia 13 tahun. Masa tu, kami menetap dia KKB semasa ayah mengajar dia Maktab Polis. Dia ni bukanlah kawan rapat, tetapi salah seorang anak polis di berek belakang yang memang terkenal dengan kenakalannya. Yang aku ingat sangat pasal dia ni, suka sangat mencarut-carut. Maklumlah, dalam keluarga aku manakan mungkin kami boleh bercakap seumpamanya. Memang tak pernahlah kami adik beradik berani nak bercakap kasar sesama sendiri (mau tak terbeliak mata ibu kalau kami bercakap bukan-bukan). Jadi tiap kali aku mendengar ucapannya yang agak kasar, dan menyebut beberapa perkataan yang sungguh asing aku rasa tidak selesa. Aku rasa pelik macam manalah budak yang lebih muda dari ku, boleh mempunyai kebebasan "cakap lepas"?...Ketika aku berpeluang berlegar-legar di kawasan berek polis belakang rumah ku, aku terdengar pekikan seorang ibu kepada anaknya; aku tersedar bahawa ibu itu sedang memarahi anaknya. Bila ditenung lagi, aku menyedari bahawa perempuan itu ada lah ibu kepada budak lelaki itu; sambil menjerit-jerit kepada anaknya, tak lepas-lepas ungkapan kasar umpama carutan kepada anaknya. Aku masa tu pun bukanlah bijak sangat, baru tingkatan 2 tapi yang buat aku terpegun melihat betapa kasarnya bahasa digunakan oleh ibu itu pada anaknya. Patutlah budak lelaki itu langsung tidak kekok dengan bahasa-bahasa carutan kerana dia terlalu biasa mendengarnya di rumahnya.

Jadi bayangkanlah, betapa persekitaran keluarga penting membentuk personaliti anak-anak. Kalau si ayah sudah biasa memukul isterinya di depan anak-anak..walaupun anak-anak berasa takut, bukankah itu sudah menjadi kebiasaan pada mereka? Bagaimana seorang perempuan dilayani oleh lelaki, bagaimana kekerasan menjadi penyelesaian kepada masalah.

Aku bukanlah seorang yang sempurna tapi aku kerap mengingati diriku agar jangan mudah terikut-ikut dengan perasaan marah, jangan cepat melatah dan bertindak bodoh kalau terasa keliru. Kalau boleh tidak mahu anak-anakku terdedah dengan sikap negatif ku. Anak-anak memerhati tindak tanduk kita, mereka mendengar ucapan kita bila kita bercakap. Mereka akan bertanya kenapa orang itu bersikap ganas atau kasar atau sebaliknya. Mereka inginkan penjelasan...tapi apa gunanya kalau kita bersikap umpama "ketam mengajar anaknya berjalan lurus?"...Kalau kita tidak menunjukkan perlakuan yang baik masakan kita mengharapkan anak kita bersikap mulia?

Pernah suatu hari Hazrik bertanya kepadaku, semasa kami menonton berita CNN.."kenapa orang yang mengaku dirinya Islam, bertindak membunuh orang tanpa belas kasihan dan meletupkan diri nya? Bukan ke bunuh diri itu berdosa?" Aku mengambil masa untuk memberi penjelasan kepadanya tentang orang yang bersikap ekstrem & yang terpesong dengan pegangannya. Sama ada dia faham atau tidak...aku tak pasti. Apa yang buat aku terpikir, anak bujang ku itu baru sahaja 9 tahun & dia memerhatikan dunia sekelilingnya sekarang dan ianya bukan lagi sekadar persekitarannya tapi jauh ke dunia luar. Dia mendengar berita, cerita dan ungkapan asing yang bukan lagi dalam kawalan ku.

Jadi, apa yang penting, apa yang boleh aku kawal adalah asas pegangannya. Aku perlu bina prinsip anak-anakku agar dia bijak memilih jalan untuknya sendiri. Dia perlu mempelajari dari kesilapannya dan bertanggung jawab ke atasnya.

Kepimpinan bukan sekadar mengarah, menunjuk jalan dan mengharap orang bimbingan kita mengikuti arahan itu. Tapi kepimpinan perlu datang dengan sifat belas dan keupayaan untuk memberi contoh. Kejayaan bukan perlu di puji atau diber penghormatan. Bagi ku, biarlah perlakuan baik yang kita tonjolkan menjadi inspirasi kepada mereka menjadi lebih baik.

A boy, an old man & a camel

*Once upon a time, there were a boy and his elderly father walking on the dessert carrying their goods on their shoulder. While walking, they found a camel with no master. They decided to take the camel and make used of the animal to carry those goods. Not long after that, they bumped into a stranger that gave a remark to them “why do you only put the goods on top of the camel, and allow the poor child to walk on his own? Thus they decided to have the goods and the boy to be on top of the camel. They continued their journey. Along the way the met a different stranger, this man saw them and started to say “why is the camel carrying the goods & the boy, when you as an old man deserved to be carried instead?” Listening to this man’s suggestion, the father replaced his son riding on the camel along with their goods.” Half way through, a different stranger saw and said to them “shouldn’t you allow the poor little boy to ride the camel?” Agreeing to this, the father came down from the camel and let the boy to ride on it instead. (Kesian..penat unta tuuu….) but not long after that, another stranger commented to them “The young boy should give way to the elderly, why don’t you ride the camel and not the boy?” Upon hearing this, again they swap places; having the father to ride the camel with the goods & the boy walking behind them.
After a while, they decided themselves to both ride the camel with the goods instead. While riding, they met a different guy who greeted them; he said “That poor camel, with you both & the goods on top of it.” The father & the son were puzzled, nothing seemed to be right in whatever decision they made, different people would give different feedback to them. So what should be the right way then???
Moral of the story: you can’t always follow what people say, you would end up exhausting yourself & swarm with confusions; plus you are killing that poor camel, nobody wants to carry the camel!!

Something to ponder about:
1. When should you then ask for opinions & suggestions for your problems/conditions?
2. Should you listen & follow suggestions given?
3. How do you evaluate all different opinions given?
4. Should you just ignore what people says about you and do whatever that you feel best & right for you? But what if what you feel is not justifiable to be the best decision? Then shouldn’t you get other people’s suggestion or opinion to benchmark? –go back to point 1.

maizikeem’s note: It’s true that you can’t always follow blindly on what people tell you to do because they are not in your shoes. They are just a bystander who has an opinion over a surface observation. BUT you don’t live alone, you can’t avoid feedback or comments. Personally, I would say you need a little bit of both; be selective in sharing and to whom you are sharing it with. But how about unavoidable comments that was given to you without being asked? “If I were you, I would…” or “you should do this way instead…” or “I strongly feel that you have made a mistake…” How do you manage that? Well there’s always this saying “take it with a pinch of salt”. At the end of the day, formulate all the inputs, digest if you may, absorb it if YOU feel it’s worth it, spit it out if it’s irrelevant & un-applicable.
It’s all about you.

story was told by my daughter Maira one day. It was shared by her ustazah during her mangaji lesson last week..

Words of wisdom

Occasionally I would reflect back on some of the meaningful words of wisdom by my parents. Some are funny, some are pedas but most of them have deeper meanings. Perhaps it didn’t render me much during that time but merely a conversation we had during tea, late nite talk on their bed or once in a while when we were driving together; at times there were reflections of their thoughts when we were talking about nothing & everything.

· One of the famous “advice” given by ayah…”To be an average person, anyone can be that, but to be the best; you need to take your breakfast!” – hahhahhahaa…we would laughed if off cos’ ayah being a discipline person in his food consumption he constantly reminded us to never skip our meal especially our breakfast. “It’s the most important meal of the day.” He would add. Ah! Why does it take 30 years for me to truly understand & appreciate this!!!

· “Got money why not…No money cannottttt!!”….ibu’s famous quote every time we talked about money & stuff that you would like to do. I freely share her words of wisdom to my office mate every time we mentioned about shopping and stuff that we would like to buy…

· Ibu will always feel ayah is the smartest man she knows. Taking into credit that he has Masters and had evidently proven to everyone that he was no kutu tembok!! But anytime of the day if she felt cornered by stupidity she would go “I may not be educated, no ijazah bergulung-gulung but I am no fool; not a bloody fool to you!!” - Take out from this: You don’t have to have formal education with high achievement to survive, AND I AM NOT AN IDIOT!!

· “Don’t let other people made a sucker out of you!!!” Ayah warned me when I learn the hard way that not all people are nice.

· There was one occasion that I was picked pocket while shopping at the mall (this was 25 years ago)…”Tulah, pegi masuk kedai macam orang jakun, mulut dok nganga jeee…mana tak kena!” ayah said, so much for comfort words eh?

· Ayah’s advice on parenthood: “It’s important to raise the children not only to be smart in the head (book smart), but they also need to be street smart; survivor & emotionally smart – kena ada self control, kena pandai kawal their emotions.”

· Ibu’s advice on parenthood: “Bila dah tua-tua nie, baru kita sedar jaga anak-anak nie susah. Tak semua yang kita buat masa tu hasilnya berkesan (turn out to be as good as you expected). Ada benda-benda yang ibu wish ibu buat differently. Apa-apa kena banyak berdoa, anak jadi lembut hati dan ingat mana yang penting dalam hidup.”

· When I failed to get good grades, ayah would snapped”You are not stupid, it’s just you didn’t get your priority straight!!” 1st lesson on Project Management: Prioritize your responsibilities & deliverables :P

· “I have selective memories, I don’t choose to remember things that are too petty” ayah would say when ibu & I start talking about long ago stories.

· “You guys are lucky to have ibu ayah to remind you all. I am telling you the things that I regretted not doing then so that you don’t make the same mistakes I made…”ibu reminiscing when ever she start her I TOLD YOU SO story.

· One evening when ibu was warded at IJN “You see, ibu dapat penyakit jantung ni because 30 years of stress and sakit hati dengan ayah”…then ayah responded “ayah pun jadi pekak sebelah telinga pasal asyik dok dengar ibu membebel for the past 30 years!!!” – the actual fact I would define these words are: We had the best 30 years of our life, for goodness & badness; in sickness and in health…

I love my ayah and I love my ibu!! They are the pillar of my strength, my source of wisdom and my life savior (when I am on my business trips! Cos they would jump to the rescue every time I need the extra help with my kids!!)

Patience is a virtue

Patience is a virtue because it makes us better people. The definition of the word is to tolerate delay. This implies self control and forbearance as opposed to wanting what we want when we want it. How many times have we jumped the gun and found out it would have been better to tolerate delay or had self control? What did we miss out on? Did we hurt someone we love because of lack of patience? Having patience will heal the wounds and it will work itself out fine. Patience is not only a virtue but a necessity for a happy existence…(http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_is_patience_a_virtue) - I GooGLED this!

Key word to remember : SELF CONTROL. Easier said than done, but nevertheless possible. I am not a patient person or was not actually. I hate delays, I despise people who do not respect efficiency. I prefer to be timely, I am somewhat a control freak but not crazy control but I do want things to be in order, pre-plan, expected and organized. Then GOD gave me Haris…who challenge me with spontaneity, un-plan, uncontrol, short term; the doing “nothing as something” guy. You can’t have it all but thank goodness he is hygienic! The 1st few lessons I learn in my marriage is tolerance & patience. Ultimately the used to be hard headed, loud mouth & bold person I was becoming more lemau each year. With him you can never win an argument, you can be twice louder and bolder but you won’t get the message across because he won’t back down, he won’t get down to his knees and say “I’m sorry, you are right dear”…he won’t come home with flowers in his hand and admit his defeat. 10 years, only once at the early of our courting I received a bouquet of flowers from him cos we had a big argument and that was the last. Instead, I learn to read him. I learn to accept who he is, his flaws and his way of thinking. I learn to be patient, in return I will eventually get my way (most of the time). With me holding back with some tolerance admission, he starts to listen and to the very least try to understand my point of view. Give it another freeze moment, we communicate again. At times I just let it go, I don’t win this time round but out of self control I came back to my ground and let it passed me. Once I’m OK he’ll be OK…

My kids tested my patience practically every day. I have 3 to count. It’s like this tag game they play that each one will take turn to see how far they can test me. Almost all the time, I end up screaming on top of my lungs…They’d probably go “Oh! Look!! You did it…You succeed to make a Tarzan out of ibu!!”…I hold back my hands to avoid slapping their butt! They hid (or threw) my cane God knows where..and I can’t find it. So now I resume to “Go to your room before I naik hantu!!” Sometime it work, at times…the whining will just go on and on until one of us grew tired. Last night was Hazrik’s turn, he whine about being hungry even though he just had 2 bowls of nasi goreng…there were plenty of food on the table & in the kitchen but NOOOOOOOOOOOO….he doesn’t want any of those; what he is implying actually “I want that MAGGI MEE that you hide in the upper cabinet.” I ignore him for a while, later I ask him to go to his room. He dozed off quietly but resumed again this morning. Then the tag begin - Maira was looking for her homework, couldn’t find it…face all red, frowning and almost teared up. “Ibu gotta go to work now Mai…but takpe, lemme help you find it.” Running out of time, we decided to make a copy from her friend later tonite…by the time I was ready to head off, Keem was awake from sleep. His usually default mode when he wakes up was crying and this time decided not to let me go. Clinging on to me with his smelly diapers, he didn’t want to be handed to Yani the maid. I was late for work, give myself another 10mins to attend to him then I decided to go. This will never stop I feel.

From then till now, I suck my whole day in. I am very proud of myself actually. From last night, I did not scream or yell at my kids, no spanking no face turn red and running around like my butt is on fire. I was cool, calm & collective. I deal with the whining (or I think it’s more of avoiding the whining), I manage Maira’s morning drama better than my usual ways. I make it up to Keem after work. Before you know it, things were back to *normal (*depend on individual definition of normal) – everyone were calm and to their usual self again.

I remember reading an email that was sent to me couple weeks back, which reminded me on the subject matter of Self Control. You decide on how to react on the situation you are in. Your day and your view to yourself will depend on how you make of it – You definitely have no control on what will happen to you on that day; your kids’ tantrum, your spouse’s mood swing, your workload, the office politics, the traffic, the maid, the neighbor, the weather, the un-plan business trip. Like today – I choose to be positive even though my kids are driving me up the wall. And the other day I hold back my disappointment when Haris doesn’t seem to get it instead I waited patiently to choose the right time and different angle to discuss our differences. And couple days ago…I avoided a rude confrontation with useless colleagues (and dealt with it when I can think straight). I motivate myself to try different means if this one fails & to be more compassionate with my words to the people around me. Patience is a virtue, so they say…and I couldn’t agree more.

Happy Mothers’ Day to all the Mothers in the world

Mothers’ Day weekend was celebrated without me realizing it. It was the weekend that Haris needed to be at the MidValley roadshow. We have been planning to watch Iron Man2, and I was ambitious enough to take Keem along. Was I crazy? YES I was. But let me tell you that it was worth it. Haris couldn’t join but he didn’t intend to anyhow (all this super hero bulls@#% is not hit movie thing…what ever la!) But Jik & Mai were so excited about it! I, on the other hand…was obviously excited because RDJ was HAWT!!!
We left the GSC Cinema feeling extremely happy. We enjoyed the movie very much. I did missed out few scenes…Mai had to take a break to the loo 3 times and there were several times I had to watch the movie from the stairs area cos Keem was restless, and making some slight fuss (he talked and laugh very loudly, couldn’t tell him to shhh up can I???)…But it’s OK, I follow through the story line, I did not miss the important scene. I do like the 1st Iron Man though but this one was equally enjoyable.
We met Haris after the movie and went for our lunch at “Chillis” – had my piece of steak finally hehehee…Didn’t do any shopping (but was very tempted). It was time for Keem’s nap, by then we were heading home. As usual Fed Highway was jammed, had a short nap in the car with Keem on my lap. Later in the afternoon it was family doing “nothing” moment. Haris with his car, Jik was with hi PS2, Keem & Mai goofing around in front of the TV while making a mess…I finally got hold of the vacuum cleaner and cleaning away the dust under the bed! Pasta for dinner, Haris cook.
What a wonderful Saturday it was, with no plans for Sunday except the usual groceries shopping in mind.
P/S Mai & Jik handed me a corny plastic rose when they got back from school that Monday with a kiss on the cheek and a hug. I love my kids, I love being a mom and I love my mom!! Happy Mothers’ Day to all the Mothers in the world.

The Ups & Downs...

I am very disappointed with myself! I have been vigorously working out, watching out what I eat, monitor the calories…but the results are very minimal! So now I switch my work out activities, stop weight lifting for a while & increase my cardio from 30mins to an hour. So we’ll see how this turn out to be in couple of months. Dare not check my body fat…last March it was 28%...now???
Our body is so complex, that there is no single formula that you could maintain. Recommendations by others may not necessarily be as effective unto you. Yes, the basic fundamental of exercising plus proportionate eating are key…but it’s not just that I realized. The more I read and try to understand, it become more complicated. It’s not just the calories intake vs calorie burn or is it fat burn…which ever it is. Then it’s not just the food you eat, the amount of food you eat and when you eat it….ayoooo why la so susah????
Then it’s the age thing. You can’t blame post pregnancy anymore. I can’t use that excuses anymore; it’s been 2 years now. Yes there were some positive changes for me. Right after the pregnancy I had to buy myself a new pair of jeans (mind I say Ms Read brand)…can’t even fit into my old pre pregnancy jeans. Then after a watchful diet and visits to the gym, weight wise very few pounds been sheds off but I started to realized the jeans were too loose for me (OK good sign then) – so I was so motivated I increase my work out session. I started to do some more reading…all pump up to go to gym – geared up to sheds off more fats. But it’s not as easy as it seems. There are some UP moments where an hour of work out seems to be too short. But there are times of DOWN moments. That u felt like you are dragging yourself; in your head you seemed to be fighting against the lazy demon in you. You finding excuses but felt too guilty not to…since you’ve got the time.
Now, my mood swing all time low…the last time I hit the gym was 3 days ago and I have not compensate that with the “after work jog” at the Cyberjaya lake (ah! It’s been raining almost all afternoon excuse). I still watch out my food though…surely that doesn’t really help much. Need to sweat, need to burn fat, need to build muscle, need to trim down, need to tone, Need to drive my motivation back again…Need the nice BBQ ribs…and chocolate shake and mud pie…eh…what happen???